fairy picture fade away from my
eyes without any regret--my heart was set elsewhere.

My Father proposed to take me to Jerusalem, but in spite of the
natural wish I had to visit the places sanctified by Our Lord's
Footsteps, I was weary of earthly pilgrimages and only longed for
the beauties of Heaven. In order to win these beauties for souls I
wanted to become a prisoner as quickly as possible. I felt that I
must suffer and struggle still more before the gates of my blessed
prison would open; yet my trust in God did not grow less, and I
still hoped to enter at Christmas.

We had hardly reached home when I paid a visit to the Carmel. You
must remember well that interview, dear Mother. I left myself
entirely in your hands, for I had exhausted all my resources. You
told me to write to the Bishop and remind him of his promise. I
obeyed at once, and as soon as my letter was posted I felt I
should obtain the coveted permission without any delay. Alas! each
day brought fresh disappointments. The beautiful feast of
Christmas dawned; still Jesus slept. He left His little ball on
the ground without even glancing that way.

This was indeed a sore trial, but Our Lord, Whose Heart is always
watching, taught me that He granted miracles to those whose faith
is small as a grain of mustard seed, in the hope of strengthening
this slender faith; whilst for His intimate friends, for His
Mother, He did not work miracles till He had proved their faith.
Did He not permit Lazarus to die even though Mary and Martha had
sent word that he was sick? And at the marriage feast of Cana,
when Our Lady asked her Divine Son to aid the master of the house,
did He not answer that His hour had not yet come? But after the
trial what a reward! Water is changed into wine, and Lazarus rises
from the dead. In this way did my Beloved act with His little
Therese; after He had tried her for a long time He granted all her
desires.

For my New Year's gift of 1888, Jesus again gave me His Cross. You
told me, dear Mother, that you had had the Bishop's answer since
December 28, the feast of Holy Innocents; that he authorised my
immediate entry into the Carmel, but that nevertheless you had
decided not to open its doors till after Lent. I could not
restrain my tears at the thought of such a long delay. This trial
affected me in a special manner, for I felt my earthly ties were
severed, and yet the Ark in its turn refused to admit the poor
little dove.

How di