spel effectually in this point shows itself to be true, which has
promised to those that shall leave all for the love of the Lord, "an
hundred fold in this life, and persecutions also." And have not I
infinitely more than an hundred fold, in so entire a possession as my
Lord hast taken of me; in that unshaken firmness which is given me in
my sufferings, in a perfect tranquillity in the midst of a furious
tempest, which assaults me on every side; in an unspeakable joy,
enlargedness and liberty which I enjoy in a most straight and rigorous
captivity. I have no desire that my imprisonment should end before the
right time. I love my chains. Everything is equal to me, as I have no
will of my own, but purely the love and will of Him who possesses me.
My senses indeed have not any relish for such things, but my heart is
separated from them. My perseverance is not of myself, but of Him who
is my life; so that I can say with the apostle, "It is no more I that
live, but Jesus Christ that liveth in me." It is He in whom I live,
move, and have my being.

To return to the subject, I say that I was not so reluctant to go with
the New Catholics, as I was to engage with them, not finding a
sufficient attraction, though I sought for it. I longed indeed to
contribute to the conversion of wandering souls, and God made use of me
to convert several families before my departure, one of which was
composed of eleven or twelve persons. Besides, Father La Combe had
written to me, to make use of this opportunity for setting off, but did
not tell me whether I ought to engage with them or not. Thus it was the
Providence of my God alone, which ordered everything, to which I was
resigned without any reserve; and that hindered me from engaging with
them.

One day reflecting humanly on this undertaking of mine, I found my
faith staggering, weakened with a fear lest I were under a mistake,
which slavish fear was increased by an ecclesiastic at our house, who
told me it was a rash and ill-advised design. Being a little
discouraged, I opened the Bible, and met with this passage in Isaiah,
"Fear not thou worm Jacob, and ye men of Israel. I will help thee saith
the Lord, and thy Redeemer, the holy one of Israel." (Chap. 61:14) and
near it, "Fear not; for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy
name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be
with thee."

I had a very great courage given me for going, but could not persuade
my