ally getting into trouble. If it ain't one thing it's
another. It's a wonder to me she hasn't been pinched oftener than she
has.

"I never will forget one time she was out riding with a handsome
gentleman from Pittsburg in a cab and while leaning on his shoulder his
diamond scarfpin got caught in her teeth. She being a bashful young
thing--then. Well, when she takes her head off his shoulder the pin
naturally comes along, too, and then she got afraid that he would think
she was trying to nick it so she stuck the pin in her hat band,
intending to restore it on the way home. But in the next cafe they
stopped in she picked a fight and left him in a huff. Would you believe
it, that guy had the nerve to come around the next day and declare that
she had pinched the bauble and threaten to land her in the booby hatch
if she didn't come across.

"And they call that chivalry!

"No true gentleman would ever threaten to have a lady sent up.

"Did he get his pin? Well, I should say not. She threw such a strong
bluff about suing him for defamation of character that he came across
with two hundred cold to keep her quiet. But don't breathe this to a
soul unless they promise not to tell. I wouldn't have it get out that I
ever said anything about her for worlds, for, though we are the best of
friends, I am leaving her no opening to hand me one.

"Don't think for a minute that I have a past I am afraid to bring before
me. My fair young life has been as quiet and uneventful as an old mill
stream. Fact. You see, still water runs deep and the race is not always
to the swift. And goodness knows I would have no one say that about me.
I'm a Bohemian, whatever that is. Lots of dames I know have pasts. Why,
every time you mention Sid Eusons to Laura she nearly coughs up a spasm
and to even breathe medicine show to a certain leading man I know he
will immediately cut you off his calling list.

"The benefit business is not as prosperous this year as it has been
heretofore. I know several parties that have actually lost money on
them.

"Now that Lent is over I am going to have a good time. I always observe
Lent some way. This year I swore off refusing drinks or suppers. Wilbur
and I expect to be made one as soon as he locates his next season's job.
He's got one in sight that looks pretty good.

"A certain party has signed for it, but Wilbur gets it if this party
drops dead, so now Wilbur is following him around telling him that he
looks po