uch! Big washee, little washee, no washee,
that is all."

A recent book on Russia relates the story of the anger of the Apostle
John because a certain peasant burned no tapers to his ikon, but
honored, instead, the ikon of Apostle Peter in St. John's own church.
The two apostles talked it over as they walked the fields near Kieff,
and Apostle John decided to send a terrible storm to destroy the just
ripe corn of the peasant. His decision was carried out, and the next day
he met Apostle Peter and boasted of his punishing wrath.

And Apostle Peter only laughed. "Ai, yi, yi, Apostle John," he said,
"what a mess you've made of it. I stepped around, saw my friend, and
told him what you were going to do, so he sold his corn to the priest of
your church."

The priest of a New York parish met one of his parishioners, who had
long been out of work, and asked him whether he had found anything to
do. The man grinned with infinite satisfaction, and replied:

"Yiss indade, ycr Riverince, an' a foine job too! Oi'm gettin' three
dollars a day fur pullin' down a Prodesant church!"

A man addicted to walking in his sleep went to bed all right one night,
but when he awoke he found himself on the street in the grasp of a
policeman. "Hold on," he cried, "you mustn't arrest me. I'm a
somnambulist." To which the policeman replied: "I don't care what your
religion is--yer can't walk the streets in yer nightshirt."

The friendship existing between Father Kelly and Rabbi Levi is proof
against differences in race and religion. Each distinguished for his
learning, his eloquence and his wit; and they delight in chaffing each
other. They were seated opposite each other at a banquet where some
delicious roast ham was served and Father Kelly made comments upon its
flavor. Presently he leaned forward and in a voice that carried far, he
addressed his friend:

"Rabbi Levi, when are you going to become liberal enough to eat ham?"

"At your wedding, Father Kelly," retorted the rabbi.

The broad-minded see the truth in different religions; the narrow-minded
see only their differences.--_Chinese Proverb_.

REMEDIES

MISTRESS--"Did the mustard plaster do you any good, Bridget?"

MAID--"Yes; but, begorry, mum, it do bite the tongue!"

SUFFERER--"I have a terrible toothache and want something to cure it."

FRIEND--"Now, you don't need any medicine. I had a toothache yesterday
and I went home and my loving wife kissed me and