ed the lawyer of the darky.

"Yes, sah, heard it twict."

"How's that?"

"Heard it whiz when it passed me, and heard it again when I passed it."

A near race riot happened in a southern town. The negroes gathered in
one crowd and the whites in another. The whites fired their revolvers
into the air, and the negroes took to their heels. Next day a plantation
owner said to one of his men: "Sam, were you in that crowd that gathered
last night?" "Yassir." "Did you run like the wind, Sam?" "No, sir. I
didn't run like the wind,'deed I didn't. But I passed two niggers that
was running like the wind."

A guest in a Cincinnati hotel was shot and killed. The negro porter who
heard the shooting was a witness at the trial.

"How many shots did you hear?" asked the lawyer.

"Two shots, sah," he replied.

"How far apart were they?"

'"Bout like dis way," explained the negro, clapping his hands with an
interval of about a second between claps.

"Where were you when the first shot was fired?"

"Shinin' a gemman's shoe in the basement of de hotel."

"Where were you when the second shot was fired?"

"Ah was passin' de Big Fo' depot."

SPINSTERS

"Is there anyone present who wishes the prayers of the congregation for
a relative or friend?" asks the minister.

"I do," says the angular lady arising from the rear pew. "I want the
congregation to pray for my husband."

"Why, sister Abigail!" replies the minister. "You have no husband as
yet."

"Yes, but I want you all to pitch in an' pray for one for me!" Some time
ago the wife of an assisstant state officer gave a party to a lot of old
maids of her town. She asked each one to bring a photograph of the man
who had tried to woo and wed her. Each of the old maids brought a
photograph and they were all pictures of the same man, the hostess's
husband.

Maude Adams was one day discussing with her old negro "mammy" the
approaching marriage of a friend.

"When is you gwine to git married, Miss Maudie?" asked the mammy, who
took a deep interest in her talented young mistress.

"I don't know, mammy," answered the star. "I don't think I'll ever get
married."

"Well," sighed mammy, in an attempt to be philosophical, "they do say
ole maids is the happies' kind after they quits strugglin'."

Here's to the Bachelor, so lonely and gay,
For it's not his fault, he was born that way;
And here's to the Spinster, so lonely and good;
For it's not her fault, s