of the street to greet each other, met right in the middle of the
car-track and in front of the car. There the two stopped and began to
talk. The car stopped, too, but the women did not appear to realize that
it was there. Certain of the passengers, whose heads were immediately
thrust out of the windows to ascertain what the trouble was, began to
make sarcastic remarks, but the two women heeded them not.

Finally the motorman showed that he had a saving sense of humor. Leaning
over the dash-board, he inquired, in the gentlest of tones:

"Pardon me, ladies, but shall I get you a couple of chairs?"

A--"I used a word in speaking to my wife which offended her sorely a
week ago. She has not spoken a syllable to me since."

B--"Would you mind telling me what it was?"

In general those who have nothing to say Contrive to spend the longest
time in doing it.--_Lowell_.

_See also_ Wives.

TARDINESS

"You'll be late for supper, sonny," said the merchant, in passing a
small boy who was carrying a package.

"No, I won't," was the reply. "I've dot de meat."--_Mabel Long_.

"How does it happen that you are five minutes late at school this
morning?" the teacher asked severely.

"Please, ma'am," said Ethel, "I must have overwashed myself."

TARIFF

Why not have an illuminated sign on the statue of Liberty saying,
"America expects every man to pay his duty?"--_Kent Packard_.

TASTE

"It isn't wise for a painter to be too frank in his criticisms," said
Robert Henri at a luncheon. "I know a very outspoken painter whose
little daughter called at a friend's house and said:

'Show me your new parlor rug, won't you, please?'"

So, with great pride, the hostess led the little girl into the
drawing-room, and raised all the blinds, so that the light might stream
in abundantly upon the gorgeous colors of an expensive Kirmanshah.

The little girl stared down at the rug in silence. Then, as she turned
away, she said in a rather disappointed voice:

"'It doesn't make _me_ sick!'"

TEACHERS

A rural school has a pretty girl as its teacher, but she was much
troubled because many of her pupils were late every morning. At last she
made the announcement that she would kiss the first pupil to arrive at
the schoolhouse the next morning. At sunrise the largest three boys of
her class were sitting on the doorstep of the schoolhouse, and by six
o'clock every boy in the school and four of the