entum,
Who gnashed his false teeth till he bent 'em:
And when asked for the cost
Of what he had lost,
Said, "I really can't tell for I rent 'em!"

--_Gilbert K. Chesterton_.

Pat came to the office with his jaw very much swollen from a tooth he
desired to have pulled. But when the suffering son of Erin got into the
dentist's chair and saw the gleaming pair of forceps approaching his
face, he positively refused to open his mouth.

The dentist quietly told his office boy to prick his patient with a pin,
and when Pat opened his mouth to yell the dentist seized the tooth, and
out it came.

"It didn't hurt as much as you expected it would, did it?" the dentist
asked smiling.

"Well, no," replied Pat hesitatingly, as if doubting the truthfulness of
his admission. "But," he added, placing his hand on the spot where the
boy jabbed him with the pin, "begorra, little did I think the roots
would reach down like that."

An Irishman with one side of his face badly swollen stepped into Dr.
Wicten's office and inquired if the dentist was in. "I am the dentist,"
said the doctor.

"Well, then, I want ye to see what's the matter wid me tooth."

The doctor examined the offending molar, and explained: "The nerve is
dead; that's what's the matter."

"Thin, be the powers," the Irishman exclaimed, "the other teeth must be
houldin' a wake over it!"

For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently.

--_Shakespeare_.

TELEPHONE

Two girls were talking over the wire. Both were discussing what they
should wear to the Christmas party. In the midst of this important
conversation a masculine voice interrupted, asking humbly for a number.
One of the girls became indignant and scornfully asked:

"What line do you think you are on, anyhow?"

"Well," said the man, "I am not sure, but, judging from what I have
heard, I should say I was on a clothesline."

When Grover Cleveland's little girl was quite young her father once
telephoned to the White House from Chicago and asked Mrs. Cleveland to
bring the child to the 'phone. Lifting the little one up to the
instrument, Mrs. Cleveland watched her expression change from
bewilderment to wonder and then to fear. It was surely her father's
voice--yet she looked at the telephone incredulously. After examining
the tiny opening in the receiver the little girl burst into tears. "Oh,
Mamma!" she sobbed. "How can we ever get Papa