And we have
heard many outlandish principles of the same sort from political
theorists, _e.g._, regarding the inalienable right of democracy to
prevail over all other forms of government and the inalienable right of
all national groups, however small, to self-determination. Well, here is
an attempt to assemble in convenient form, without comment or
interpretation, some of the fundamental beliefs of the largest body of
human beings now under one flag in Christendom. It is but a beginning.
The field is barely platted. It must be explored to the last furlong and
all its fantastic and fascinating treasures unearthed and examined
before ever there can be any accurate understanding of the mind of the
American people.

GEORGE JEAN NATHAN
H.L. MENCKEN
_New York, 1920._

THE AMERICAN CREDO

Sec.1

That the philoprogenitive instinct in rabbits is so intense that the
alliance of two normally assiduous rabbits is productive of 265
offspring in one year.

Sec.2

That there are hundreds of letters in the Dead Letter Office whose
failure to arrive at their intended destinations was instrumental in
separating as many lovers.

Sec.3

That the Italian who sells bananas on a push-cart always takes the
bananas home at night and sleeps with them under his bed.

Sec.4

That a man's stability in the community and reliability in business may
be measured by the number of children he has.

Sec.5

That in Japan an American can buy a beautiful geisha for two dollars and
that, upon being bought, she will promptly fall madly in love with him
and will run his house for him in a scrupulously clean manner.

Sec.6

That all sailors are gifted with an extraordinary propensity for amour,
but that on their first night of shore leave they hang around the
water-front saloons and are given knock-out drops.

Sec.7

That when a comedian, just before the rise of the curtain, is handed a
telegram announcing the death of his mother or only child, he goes out
on the stage and gives a more comic performance than ever.

Sec.8

That the lions in the cage which a lion-tamer enters are always sixty
years old and have had all their teeth pulled.

Sec.9

That the Siamese Twins were joined together by gutta percha moulded and
painted to look like a shoulder blade.

Sec.10

That if a woman about to become a mother plays the piano every day, h