ing flip remarks.

Sec.34

That one can never tell accurately what the public wants.

Sec.35

That every time one sat upon an old-fashioned horse-hair sofa one of the
protruding sharp hairs would stab one through the union suit.

Sec.36

That when an ocean vessel collides with another vessel or hits an
iceberg and starts to sink, the ship's band promptly rushes up to the
top deck and begins playing "Nearer, My God, to Thee."

Sec.37

That in no town in America where it has played has "Uncle Tom's Cabin"
ever failed to make money.

Sec.38

That the tenement districts are the unhealthy places they are because
the dwellers hang their bed-clothing out on the fire-escapes.

Sec.39

That, in small town hotels, the tap marked "hot water" always gives
forth cold water and that the tap marked "cold" always gives forth hot.

Sec.40

That every lieutenant in the American army who went to France had an
affair with a French comtesse.

Sec.41

That when cousins marry, their children are born blind, deformed, or
imbecile.

Sec.42

That a cat falling from the twentieth story of the Singer Building will
land upon the pavement below on its feet, uninjured and as frisky as
ever.

Sec.43

That the accumulation of great wealth always brings with it great
unhappiness.

Sec.44

That it is unlucky to count the carriages in a funeral.

Sec.45

That the roulette wheel at Monte Carlo is controlled by a wire as thin
as a hair which is controlled in turn by a button hidden beneath the rug
near the operator's great toe.

Sec.46

That Polish women are so little human that one of them can have a baby
at 8 A.M. and cook her husband's dinner at noon.

Sec.47

That Henry James never wrote a short sentence.

Sec.48

That it is bad luck to kill a spider.

Sec.49

That German peasants are possessed of a profound knowledge of music.

Sec.50

That every coloured cook has a lover who never works, and that she feeds
him by stealing the best part of every dish she cooks.

Sec.51

That George Bernard Shaw doesn't really believe anything he writes.

Sec.52

That the music of Richard Wagner is all played _fortissimo_, and by
cornets.

Sec.53

That the Masonic order goes back to the days of King Solomon.

Sec.54

That swearing is forbidden by the Bible.

Sec.55

That all newspaper reporters carry notebooks.

Sec.56

That whiskey is good for snake-bite