when a doctor finds there is nothing the matter with a man who has
come to consult him, he never frankly tells the man there's nothing
wrong with him, but always gives him bread pills.

Sec.280

That, in a family crisis, the son always sticks to the mother and the
daughter to the father.

Sec.281

That beer is very fattening.

Sec.282

That no man of first-rate mental attainments ever goes in for dancing.

Sec.283

That a woman can't sharpen a lead pencil.

Sec.284

That on every trans-Atlantic steamer there are two smooth gamblers who,
the moment the ship docks, sneak over the side with the large sum of
money they have won from the passengers.

Sec.285

That if one gets out of bed on the left side in the morning, one has a
mean disposition for the rest of the day.

Sec.286

That a woman who has led a loose life is so grateful for the respect
shown her by the man who asks her to marry him that she makes the best
kind of wife.

Sec.287

That fish is a brain food.

Sec.288

That street-corner beggars have a great deal of money hidden away at
home under the kitchen floor.

Sec.289

That it is advisable for a young woman who takes gas when having a tooth
pulled to be accompanied by some one, by way of precaution against the
dentist.

Sec.290

That all girls educated in convents turn out in later life to be
hell-raisers.

Sec.291

That a young girl may always safely be trusted with the kind of man who
speaks of his mother.

Sec.292

That a nine-year-old boy who likes to play with toy steam engines is
probably a born mechanical genius and should be educated to be an
engineer.

Sec.293

That all celebrated professional humourists are in private life heavy
and witless fellows.

Sec.294

That when one stands close to the edge of a dizzy altitude, one is
seized peculiarly with an impulse to jump off.

Sec.295

That if one eats an apple every night before retiring, one will never be
ill.

Sec.296

That all negroes born south of the Potomac can play the banjo and are
excellent dancers.

Sec.297

That whenever a negro is educated he refuses to work and becomes a
criminal.

Sec.298

That whenever an Italian begins to dress like an American and to drive a
Dodge car, it is a sign he has taken to black-handing or has acquired an
interest in the white-slave trust.

Sec.299

That, in the days when there were breweries, the men who dro