derogatory description of the owner.

Sec.376

That an old woman with rheumatism in her leg can infallibly predict when
it is going to rain.

Sec.377

That Philadelphia is a very sleepy town.

Sec.378

That it is impossible for a man to learn how to thread a needle.

Sec.379

That there is something unmanly about a grown man playing the piano,
save only when he plays it in a bordello.

Sec.380

That a couple of quinine pills, with a chaser of rye whiskey, will cure
a cold.

Sec.381

That all Congressmen who voted for Prohibition are secret lushers and
have heavy stocks of all sorts of liquors in their cellars.

Sec.382

That a certain Exalted Personage in Washington is a gay dog with the
ladies and used to cut up with a stock company actress.

Sec.383

That all the best cooks are men.

Sec.384

That all Japanese butlers are lieutenants in the Japanese Navy and that
they read and copy all letters received by the folks they work for.

Sec.385

That the best way to stop nose-bleed is to drop a door-key down the
patient's back.

Sec.386

That a thunder-storm will cause milk to turn sour.

Sec.387

That if a man drinks three glasses of buttermilk every day he will never
be ill.

Sec.388

That whenever two Indians meet they greet each other with the word
"How!"

Sec.389

That the Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States all chew
tobacco while hearing cases, but that they are very serious men
otherwise, and never laugh, or look at a pretty girl, or get tight.

Sec.390

That all negro prize-fighters marry white women, and that they afterward
beat them.

Sec.391

That New Orleans is a very gay town and full of beautiful French
creoles.

Sec.392

That gin is good for the kidneys.

Sec.393

That the English lower classes are so servile that they say "Thank you,
sir," if one kicks them in the pantaloons.

Sec.394

That the gipsies who go about the country are all horse-thieves, and
that they will put a spell upon the cattle of any farmer who has them
arrested for stealing his mare.

Sec.395

That every bachelor of easy means has an illicit affair with a grass
widow in a near-by city and is the father of several illegitimate
children.

Sec.396

That a country editor receives so many presents of potatoes, corn,
rutabagas, asparagus, country ham, carrots, turnips, etc., that he never
has to buy any food.

Sec.397