g the
prices on things they actually want.

Sec.416

That 100,000 abortions are performed in Chicago every year.

Sec.417

That John D. Rockefeller has a great mind, and would make a fine
President if it were not for his craze for money.

Sec.418

That all the Jews who were drafted during the late war were put into the
Quartermaster's Department on account of their extraordinary business
acumen.

Sec.419

That a jury never convicts a pretty woman.

Sec.420

That chorus girls in the old days got so tired of drinking champagne
that the sound of a cork popping made them shudder.

Sec.421

That the Massachusetts troops, after the first battle of Bull Run,
didn't stop running until they reached Harrisburg, Pa.

Sec.422

That General Grant was always soused during a battle, and that on the
few occasions when he was sober he got licked.

Sec.423

That the late King Edward used to carry on in Paris at such a gait that
he shocked even the Parisians.

Sec.424

That it takes an Englishman two days to see a joke, and that he always
gets it backward even then.

Sec.425

That headwaiters in fashionable hotels make $100 a day.

Sec.426

That if a bat flies into a woman's hair, the hair must be cut off to get
it out.

Sec.427

That all the women in Chicago have very large feet.

Sec.428

That on cold nights policemen always sneak into stables on their beats
and go to sleep.

Sec.429

That all the school-boys in Boston have bulged brows, wear large
spectacles and can read Greek.

Sec.430

That all dachshunds come from Germany.

Sec.431

That nine out of every ten Frenchmen have syphilis.

Sec.432

That the frankfurters sold at circuses and pleasure parks are made of
dog meat.

Sec.433

That all the cheaper brands of cigarettes are sophisticated with drugs,
and in time cause those who smoke them to get softening of the brain.

Sec.434

That rock-and-rye will cure a cold.

Sec.435

That a country boy armed with a bent pin can catch more fish than a city
angler with the latest and most expensive tackle.

Sec.436

That red-haired girls are especially virulent.

Sec.437

That all gamblers eventually go broke.

Sec.438

That the worst actress in the company is always the manager's wife.

Sec.439

That an elephant in a circus never forgets a person who gives him a
chew of tobacco or a rotten peanut, but will single him out