Railway have tactfully taken their fast engine
"Teutonic" and re-christened her "The Tsar."

* * *

The Russians succeeded, a few days ago, in catching the _Goeben_
napping. Apparently the motto of the Turkisch Navy is "Let lying dogs
sleep."

* * *

A writer in _The Daily Chronicle_ suggests that cats, with their
marvellous homing instincts, might be used for the carriage of messages
in the same way as pigeons. Not quite in the same way, perhaps; though
cases of flying cats have occurred. We know one, for instance, that flew
at a dog only the other day.

* * *

"EYE-WITNESS" has remarked that the Germans in France are now equipped
with a gun which is quite silent. As a result of this statement a number
of men who had hitherto held back as being subject to headaches are now
rushing to enlist.

* * *

The advertisement of a new rifle gallery in Dublin runs as
follows:--"Learn to shoot at the Dublin Rifle School. The object is to
teach every man to shoot irrespective of political views." The old order
changeth. Formerly, no doubt, the rifles were sighted in one way for
Unionists and in another for Nationalists.

* * *

The watchmaking industry in Chaux-de-Fonds, Switzerland, has, it is
stated, already suffered a loss of L700,000 since the outbreak of the
war. This is attributed entirely to the competition of the Watch on the
Rhine.

* * *

With reference again to the Silent Guns which the Germans claim to have
invented, it is only fair to point out that, before they were heard of,
English artillery-men had silenced many of the noisy ones.

* * *

"FREE PASSES AND OVER-CROWNING."

_Evening Standard._

There was some excuse for this misprint, for the offence complained of
took place at the Coronation Picture Palace.

* * *

CAUTION.--The members of the Old Boys Corps simply hate being called
"Old B.C.s."

* * * * *

Plucky little Wales again! Russia may have her Przemysl, but it
transpired in certain police-court proceedings last week that Glamorgan
has her Ynysybwl. We would suggest that the competition should now stop.

* * * * *

Illustration: _Recruiting Sergeant._ "WANT TO JOIN THE CAVALRY, DO YOU?
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HORSES?"

_Applicant._ "WOT--ME? THREE WINNERS AND A SECOND YESTERDAY! LUMME,
GUV'NOR! WOT DO YOU THINK?"

* * * * *