n, this is not my war. I never imagined it or planned it in
this way, and I decline to be made responsible for it. I wanted a war
that might be quickly prosperous and as safe for Germany as any war can
be--a war of which we might keep the management in our own hands with
great profit to ourselves. But now, though only four months have passed,
we have lost the reins and Fate has taken them up and is directing the
course of things. When that happens anything may happen. It is useless,
therefore, to turn round and make accusations which are not founded in
reason. My system was a good one and is still good, but it cannot now be
used. There is nothing for it now except to continue hammering with our
heads against a stone wall, which is not an agreeable occupation even
when the heads are German.

Your Majesty's faithful subject,

VON BERNHARDI.

* * * * *

Illustration: MEN OF FEW WORDS.

GRAND DUKE NICHOLAS. "CA MARCHE?"

GENERAL JOFFRE. "ASSEZ BIEN. ET CHEZ VOUS?"

GRAND DUKE. "PAS MAL."

* * * * *

Illustration:

_Small Visitor._ "AND HOW IS YOUR MOTHER, PENELOPE?"

_Penelope._ "THANK YOU, POOR MUMMIE'S A BIT BELOW HERSELF THIS
MORNING--WHAT WITH THE COOK AND THE KAISER."

* * * * *

THE WATCH DOGS.

VIII.

Dear Charles,--We have got a move on at last. We don't know where we are
going or why we are going or even if we are really going at all. It may
be that we are on our way to the Continent; it may be that we are on our
way to the coast to assume the defensive; it may be that the authorities
are pulling our legs and are watching from behind the hedges _en route_
to see how we take it. We march on till we are told to stop. We stop
till we are told to march on.

I was, as you know, in London on Sunday. Having had a trying week I
sought a change of air to recuperate my health, I also sought to recover
my self-respect by being saluted in my native parks. Full of the good
things of this world I returned in the evening to ----

[_Censor._ Now then, don't you give it away.

_Myself._ But, dash it all, he knows where I'd come from.

_Censor._ That may be, but it's not to get about where you are.

_Myself._ But I'm not there now. I'm at----

_Censor._ H'sh.]

I got to my little nest (anonymous) at 10.30 P.M. and found the
following among other orders awaiting me: "Company Officers will hold
their companies