came and washed
themselves carefully right under my nose. I hardly saw them, though of
course I couldn't help smelling them.

You see, _Mr. Punch_, what made me feel so very bad was that I had found
out something about The Front from other dogs. It appears that it is a
very dangerous place, full of what they call Germans, where he would
need _me_ to look after him much more than he does at home. Why then not
take me? I cannot understand it at all. I can fight. Ask the dog at the
house at the corner of our road what he thinks, and just take a look at
his ears. They speak for themselves.

Then, again, I can hear and smell a great deal better than my master,
and could keep watch while he is asleep (I am told he will have to sleep
in a ditch!), and after one or two sniffs and bites I should soon learn
to tell a German.

In time of danger the place of every English dog is by his master's
side, and he doesn't mind dying there either. Can't you help us to get
to The Front with our masters?

Yours faithfully,

A VERY SAD DOG.

P.S.--I enclose untouched one of the most delicious bones I have ever
smelt--not necessarily for publication but as a guarantee of good faith.

* * * * *

The Men from Blankley's.

"MATES GIVEN FOR

Dinner Parties.
Dance Suppers.
Wedding Receptions.
At Homes."

_Advt. in "Clifton Society._"

A boon for the harassed hostess.

* * * * *

THE OPPORTUNISTS.

'Tis a strange portent of the war
That every advertiser
Desires to be indebted for
His income to the KAISER;
At all events
He's got the goods for military gents.

"_Pypp's Playing-cards_," we learn, "dispel
The longest siege's tedium."
"Tin of Tobacco turns a shell--
Great feat by _Mascot_ (medium)."
"No ally feels
Hungry or tired who carries _Ponk's Pastilles_."

"The nicest present you can get
To soothe the soldier's nerve is
Our _Black Maria_ cigarette--
The best for active service!"
"All haversacks
Should carry lumps of _Entente_ sealing-wax."

"Ask for our _French equivalent_
_Of British Oaths_. The French is
More chic. A pretty compliment
To _Piou-Piou_ in the trenches!
A boon untold
To Indian colonels suffering from the cold!"

* * * * *

"Both persons have been taken prisoners and sent to Medan, where
they wil