for a really telling poster
on the waistcoat?

* * * * *

"Here Colonel Hoffmann remarked: 'We have a feeling of absolute
superiority over the Russians. We must win; we will win.'"

_Daily Mail._

Look out for our new opera, "Fairy Tales of HOFFMANN."

* * * * *

Illustration: A CHRONIC COMPLAINT.

AIDE-DE-CAMP. "'THE ENGLISH FORCE, SO PLEASE YOU.'"

KAISER. "'TAKE THY FACE HENCE.... I AM SICK AT HEART.'"

(MACBETH, Act V., Sc. 3.)

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

(EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.)

_House of Commons, Monday, 23rd November._--Dull sitting suddenly
stirred to excitement by Apparition in Khaki starting up from below
Gangway on Ministerial Side. It was WEDGEWOOD (_sans_ BENN). Wanted to
know what advice Government are prepared to give civil population as to
how they ought to behave in event of German invasion.

"Are they," asked the warlike WEDGEWOOD, "to take it lying down and let
the Germans walk over them? or shall they make the best possible stand
for their country?"

From above Gangway in neighbourhood of LEIF JONES' seat came tremulous
voice exclaiming, "Fight!"

Thus encouraged, PARLIAMENTARY SECRETARY to War Office, who day by day
grows more martial in figure and manner, pointed out that "the first
duty we [meaning the Army] and the Navy have to perform is to prevent
invasion. That failing, our duty is to drive the invader into the sea as
fast as ever we can."

Illustration: _Mr. Tennant._ "OUR DUTY IS TO DRIVE THE INVADER INTO THE
SEA."

As to action of civil population emergency committees are being formed
in counties where there is danger of invasion, and instructions are
being issued by them. What those instructions are TENNANT strategically
declined to disclose.

After this reassuring statement Consolidated Fund Bill immediately
passed second reading.

Later fresh protest, led off by Lord BOB and emphasised by BONAR LAW,
against arbitrary conduct of Censor in dealing with the Press.

"We ought to stick to this till K. caves in," says the MEMBER FOR SARK.
"The Press Bureau has about it stamp of things 'made in Germany.'
Importation of other classes of these goods is prohibited. Let us either
get rid of the Press Bureau or have it remodelled on principles of
common sense, in accord with public feeling and concern for best
interests of the Army."

_Busin