."

"Ah, but wait. I have never spoken in public before. In an immense hall,
whose acoustics----"

"Who are they?"

"Well, never mind. What I mean is that I shall want some elocution
lessons. Say five, at a guinea each."

"That still leaves five shillings."

"If only it left that, it might be worth it. But there's the new white
waistcoat. An audience soon gets tired of a lecture, and then there's
nothing for the wakeful ones to concentrate on but the white waistcoat
of the lecturer. It must be of a virgin whiteness. Say thirty-five
shillings. So I lose thirty shillings by it. Can I afford so much?"

"But you gain the acoustics and the waistcoat."

"True. Of course, if you insist----"

"Oh, you _must_," said Celia.

So I returned to the library. By tea-time I had got as far as this:--

"ADVENTURES WITH A CAMERA IN SOMALILAND.

"_Lecture delivered before the Blanktown Literary and Philo---- _"

And then I had an idea. This time a brilliant one.

"Celia," I said at tea, "I have been wondering whether I ought to take
advantage of your generosity."

"What generosity?"

"In letting me deliver this lecture."

"It isn't generosity, it's swank. I want to be able to tell everybody."

"Ah, but the sacrifices you are making."

"Am I?" said Celia, with interest.

"Of course you are. Consider. I ask a fee of ten guineas. They cannot
possibly charge more than a shilling a head to listen to me. It would be
robbery. So that if there is to be a profit at all, as presumably they
anticipate, I shall have a gate of at least two hundred and fifty."

"I should _hope_ so."

"Two hundred and fifty. And what does that mean? It means that at
seven-thirty o'clock on the night of December the 8th two hundred and
fifty residents of Blanktown will _turn out the electric lights in their
drawing-rooms_ ... PERHAPS EVEN IN THEIR HALLS ... and proceed to the
lecture-room. True, the lecture-room will be lit up--a small
compensation--but not for long. When the slides of Vesuvius are thrown
upon the screen----"

Celia was going pale.

"But if it's not you," she faltered, "it will be somebody else."

"No; if I refuse, it will be too late then to get a substitute. Besides
they must have tried everybody else before they got down to me....
Celia, already the Zeppelin scare has shaken your stock severely; this
will be the final blow. It is noble of you to sacrifice----"

"Don't go!" she cried in anguish.

I gave a deep sigh.