pence and threepenny bit are of no
service whatever. In thoroughly honest households they could be employed
as letter-weights or for practising the discus-throw for the next
Olympic Games (if any), or for keeping open a swing door while a
tea-tray is carried through. We hope the idea will be vigorously
followed up. A 15/-piece representing the British Army crossing the
Aisne River under fire would be certain to be popular, as also would a
17/6 piece showing the arrival of the Indian Troops at Marseilles.

Something, too, might be done with our stamps. Concrete gun emplacements
would look very well on the five-shilling stamp, and the desired effect
of secrecy could be obtained by printing them on the back; while we
would suggest for the penny stamp a design of a muffler or a mitten with
crossed knitting needles in each corner. At the same time an important
step could be taken toward popularizing the postal order, by printing on
the obverse side of it in red the whole of the first verse of "It's a
long way to Tipperary."

We only throw out these suggestions for what they are worth. Like Mr.
ROGER himself our sole idea is to contribute something really useful to
the pregnant deliberations of the hour.

* * * * *

Illustration: _Officer_ (_commanding skirmishing party_). "VERY SORRY
TO PUT YOU OFF YOUR GAME, SIR; BUT WE HAD TO COME ACROSS HERE."

_Golfer._ "DON'T MENTION IT, SIR. IT MAKES ME FEEL I'VE DONE MY BIT."

* * * * *

BOOK TRADE GOSSIP.

(_The following communication has been submitted to our own Special
Censor, who takes the responsibility of contradicting it in every
particular. Subject to this, he has no objection to publication._)

Paternoster Row.

In spite of the drastic regulations against dealing with the enemy it is
to be feared that books from British publishing houses continue to find
their way into German hands. During the early days of the invasion of
Belgium an unprecedented demand for _How to Collect Old Furniture_ arose
in neutral countries, accompanied by enquiries for similar works dealing
with silver plate, pictures and bijoutry. Suspicion respecting the
ultimate destination of these books is strengthened by the fact that of
late the demand has given place to urgent requests for stilts,
wading-boots, and "water-wings"--a class of goods in which Paternoster
Row is not keenly interested.

* * *

The este