lar character would be quite
superfluous.

* * *

Speaking to an audience of miners at Morpeth Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD said he
dreamed of a time when the miners would govern the country. Not even the
miners, on the other hand, would dream of letting Mr. RAMSAY MACDONALD
govern it.

* * *

"Does the Government realise," asks a newspaper correspondent, "that as
regards the situation in Ireland we are on the edge of a crater or with a
thunderbolt over our heads?" We rather imagine that the Government, like
the writer, isn't quite sure which.

* * *

Oswestry Guardians have accepted an offer to supply Bibles to tramps. This
is the first occasion on which the current belief that the tramp class is
nowadays being recruited largely from the ranks of the minor clergy has
received formal recognition.

* * *

A bricklayer has been summoned for not sending his son to school. It
appears that the father, finding his boy could count up to twenty and
wishing him to follow his own occupation, thought further schooling
unnecessary.

* * *

"When the country really understands the need of the Government," says an
essayist, "we shall travel far." But not at twopence a mile, thank you.

* * * * *

[Illustration: TRUE POLITENESS.

"YOUR EEL, I THINK, SIR?"]

* * * * *

A CRIMINAL TYPE.

To-day I am MAKing aN inno6Lvation. as you mayalready have gessed, I am
typlng this article myself Zz1/2lnstead of writing it, The idea is to save
time and exvBKpense, also to demonstyap demonBTrike= =damn, to demonstratO
that I can type /ust as well as any blessedgirl 1f I give my mInd to iT""
Typlng while you compose is realy extraoraordinarrily easy, though
composing whilr you typE is more difficult. I rather think my typing style
is going to be different froM my u6sual style, but Idaresay noone will mind
that much. looking back i see that we made rather a hash of that awfuul
wurd extraorordinnaryk? in the middle of a woRd like thaton N-e gets quite
lost? 2hy do I keep putting questionmarks instead of fulstopSI wonder. Now
you see i have put a fulllstop instead Of a question mark it nevvvver reins
but it pours.

the typewriter to me has always been a musteryL? and even now that I have
gained a perfect mastery over the machine in gront of me i have npt th3
faintest idea hoW it workss% &or instance why does the thingonthetop the
klnd of overhead Wailway arrrangement move alo