t (I take it) directing my course
That named as my first occupation
A fruitless endeavour to track to its source
The cause of this sudden cessation;
And so I had tinkered with tools for a space
Ere I thought of my favourite poet,
And said to myself, "Lo! the time and the place
And the loved one in unison; go it."

I might have remembered man seldom appears
Alluring in look or in manner
With a smut on his nose, oleaginous ears
And frenziedly clutching a spanner;
Though down by the cycle I fell to my knees
And ported my heart for inspection,
I only received for my passionate pleas
A curt and conclusive rejection.

* * * * *

"Gentlewoman, good family, small means, musical, devoted to parish
work, wishes to correspond with clergyman with view to being 'an
helpmeet for him.'"--_Church Times._

The _Matrimonial News_ must look to its laurels.

* * * * *

"The Picturedrome, ----, and ---- Cinema, have been acquired by a
London Syndicate, in which are several gentlemen."--_Provincial Paper._

We do not profess to know much about the film-trade, but is this so very
unusual?

* * * * *

[Illustration: MANNERS AND MODES.

POST-WAR SIMPLICITY IN BATHING-GEAR.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Urchin (outside Club)._ "I BET IT WAS THE FAULT OF 'IM ON
THE RIGHT."]

* * * * *

WAYS AND MEANS.

I have read somewhere that when and/or if railway fares are increased it
will cost a man travelling with his wife and two children (the children
being half-fares) as much as twenty pounds to take third-class return
tickets to St. Ives.

Presumably this refers to the Cornish St. Ives, and to show how serious the
problem will be for quite large families I need only refer my readers to
the well-known poetical riddle which is generally supposed to refer to the
Cornish St. Ives too. It will be seen at once that in the case of a
septuagamist going to or returning from St. Ives with his family the cost
will be vastly greater, even if no special luggage rates are leviable for
the carriage of excess cats.

Fortunately there is a much nearer St. Ives in Huntingdonshire, and if I
was going to St. Ives at all, with or without encumbrances, I should
certainly choose that one. As a matter of fact the Huntingdonshire St.