hority over her in future? Would she not become still
more difficult to manage if she knew how indispensable she was? I continued
to hesitate. Then Henry spoke. "We've managed admirably," he said. "Your
mistress has been wonderful. Her cooking has absolutely surprised me."

I blessed Henry (the devil!) in that moment. "Thank you, dear," I murmured.

Then Elizabeth spoke and there was a note of relief in her voice. "Well,
I'm reerly glad to 'ear that, as I can go off to-morrer after all. I
'aven't been for my 'oliday yet, like."

"What do you mean?" I gasped.

"Well, you see, 'm, my young man didn't turn up at the station, so I went
and stayed with my sister-in-law at Islington. She wants me to go with 'er
to Southend early to-morrer, but I thort as 'ow I'd better come back 'ere
first and see if you reerly could manage without me, for I 'ad my doubts.
'Owever, as everythink's goin' on orl right I can go with an easy mind."

I remained speechless. So did Henry. Elizabeth went out again into the
darkness. There was a long pause, broken only by my hay fever. Then Henry
spoke. "Can't you stop that everlasting sniffing?" he barked out. "It's
driving me mad, woman."

* * * * *

[Illustration: OUR VILLAGE SOLOMON.

_First Rustic._ "D'YE 'EAR OLD DADDY SMITH'S COTTAGE WAS BURNT DOWN LAST
NIGHT?"

_Second Rustic (of matured wisdom)._ "I BEAN'T SURPRISED. WHEN I SEES THE
SMOKE A-COMING THROUGH THE THATCH I SEZ TO MYSELF, 'THERE'S SELDOM SMOKE
WITHOUT FIRE.'"]

* * * * *

"REQUIRED an English or French resident governess for children from 30
to 45 years old, having notions of music."--_Standard (Buenos Ayres)._

We are glad they have picked up something during their prolonged
juvenescence.

* * * * *

AUTHORSHIP FOR ALL.

[Being specimens of the work of Mr. Punch's newly-established Literary
Ghost Bureau, which supplies appropriate Press contributions on any
subject and over any signature.]

IV.--WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE DRAMA?

_By Marcus P. Brimston, the gifted producer of "Shoo, Charlotte!"_

I have been invited to say a few words to readers of _The Sabbath Scoop_ on
the alleged decay of the British drama. There is indeed some apparent truth
in this allegation. On all sides I hear managers sending up the same old
wail of dwindling box-office receipts and houses packed with ghastly rows
of deadheads.