be delivered to the
army, and three or four more socialistic addresses with the names in
blank for use in case of emergency," Abe continued, "and so one way or
another he is kept busy right up to the time when word comes that his
successor has just left Tsarskoe-Seloe with the Thirty-second
Nijni-Novgorod Infantry and a regiment composed of contingents from the
Ladies' Aid Society of the First Universalist Church of Minsk, Daughters
of the Revolution of Nineteen five, the Y.W.H.A., and the Women's City
Club of Odessa. Twenty minutes later he is on board a boat bound for
Sweden, and after looking up the _Ganeves_ in his state-room he comes up
on deck and spends the rest of the trip making socialistic addresses to
the crew, the passengers, and the cargo."

"Having to go and live in Sweden ain't such a pleasant fate, neither,"
Morris observed.

"Say!" Abe exclaimed. "There's only one thing that a Russian
revolutionary dictator really and truly worries about."

"What is that?" Morris said.

"Losing his voice," Abe said.

XI

POTASH AND PERLMUTTER DISCUSS THE SUGAR QUESTION

One lump, or two, please?

"Ain't it terrible the way you couldn't buy no sugar in New York,
nowadays, Mawruss?" Abe Potash said, one morning in November.

"Let the people _not_ eat sugar," Morris Perlmutter declared. "These are
war-times, Abe."

"Suppose they are war-times," Abe retorted, "must everybody act like
they had diabetes? Sugar is just so much a food as butter and milk and
_gefullte Rinderbrust_."

"I know it is," Morris agreed, "but most people eat it because it's
sweet, and they like it."

"Then it's your idea that on account of the war people should eat only
them foods which they don't like?" Abe inquired.

"That ain't _my_ idea, Abe," Morris protested; "I got it from reading
letters to the editors written by Pro Bono Publicos and other fellers
which is taking advantage of the only opportunity they will ever have to
figure in the newspapers outside of the births, marriages, and deaths,
y'understand. Them fellers all insist that until the war is over
everything in the way of sweetening should be left out of American life,
and some of 'em even go so far as to claim that we should ought to swear
off pepper and salt also. Their idea is that until we lick the Germans
the American people should leave off going to the theayter, riding in
automobiles, playing golluf, baseball, and auction pinochle, and reading
magazine