works in the family, and falls in love with the painter-boy on his return
from Paris. They vote country life too slow, and plan to go to Paris and
start a family. The doting mother gives her consent, and _Pastor Menders_,
who is throwing fits all through the play, has a spasm.

The boy, on being informed that the girl of his choice is his half-sister,
throws another, his mama having also thrown a few in the other act.

_Engstrand_, who runs a sort of sailors' and soldiers' canteen, sets fire
to an orphanage, and the boy, who has inherited a sort of
mayonnaise-dressing brain from his awful dad, tears about the stage a
spell, breaks some furniture, and upsets the wine. He finally takes
rough-on-rats, and dies a gibbering idiot, with his mother slobbering over
him and trying to figure out in her own mind that he was merely drunk and
disorderly.

As a sermon on the law of heredity the play is great, but after seeing it
we are glad to announce that Haverly's Minstrels will relieve the Ibsen
gloom on November 6--next Monday night.--_Carson (Nevada) Appeal._

PROFESSIONAL OBITUARY.

When an editor dies in Kansas, this is the way they write the obituary:
"The pen is silent; the scissors have been laid away to rust; the
stillness of death pervades the very atmosphere where once the hoarse
voice of the devil yelling 'copy' or 'what the hell's this word?' was wont
to resound. The paste-pot has soured on the what-not; the cockroach is
eating the composition off the roller, and the bluebottle fly is dying in
the rich folds of the printer's towel."--_Exchange._

THE WIDOW'S GRATITUDE.

A newly made widow of Geary County sent this card of thanks to the
_Republic_ for publication:

"I desire to thank my friends and neighbors most heartily in this manner
for the united aid and cooperation during the illness and death of my late
husband, who escaped from me by the hand of death on Friday last while
eating breakfast. To the friends and all who contributed so willingly
toward making the last moments and funeral of my husband a success I
desire to remember most kindly, hoping these few lines will find them
enjoying the same blessing. I have a good milch cow and roan gelding
horse, five years old, which I will sell cheap. 'God moves in a mysterious
way His wonders to perform; He plants His footsteps on the sea, and rides
upon the storm'; also a black-and-white shote, very low."--_Junction City
(Kansas) Republic._

ALL OFF.