efer to Mr. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW, who, of course, is not in that category.

***

"Peanuts," says _The Daily Chronicle,_ "do not seem to be receiving the
attention they deserve from our food experts." Several of our younger
readers who profess to be food experts declare that they are ready to
attend to all the peanuts that our contemporary cares to put in their way.

***

In a duel with revolvers last week two Spanish officers wounded one
another. We have all along maintained that duels with revolvers are
becoming positively dangerous.

***

A cheque for twenty-five million dollars has just been handed to M. BRON,
Danish Minister at Washington, in payment for the Danish West Indies. This,
we understand, includes cost of packing and delivery.

***

[Illustration: _Master (after the event)._ "DO YOU KNOW, YOUNG MAN, THAT
THIS PAINS ME MUCH MORE THAN IT DOES YOU?"

_The Terror._ "NO, I DIDN'T KNOW, SIR. BUT IF THAT ASSERTION GENUINELY
EXPRESSES YOUR CONSIDERED OPINION I FEEL VERY MUCH BETTER."]

***

There is a serious shortage of margarine and many people have been
compelled to fall back on butter.

***

A gossip writer states that one of the recent additions to the Metropolitan
Special constabulary weighs seventeen stone. It is not yet decided whether
he will take one beat or two.

***

There is to be no General Election this year for fear that it might clash
with the other War.

***

Another military absentee having told the Thames Police Court magistrate
that he did not know there was a War on, it is expected that the Government
will have to announce the fact.

***

It is no longer the fashion to regard the British as a degenerate race.
Still it is good to know that one of our rat clubs has killed no fewer than
three hundred of these ferocious beasts.

***

A contemporary suggests that we may yet institute a system of pigeon post,
and thus assist the postal services. There will be fine mornings when the
exasperated house-holder will be waiting behind the door with a shot-gun
for the bird which attempts to deliver the Income Tax papers.

***

Two litigants in the Bombay High Court have settled their differences by
agreeing that the sum in dispute shall be paid into the War Fund. This is
considered to be a marked improvement on the old method of dividing it
between the lawyers in the case.

***

"It is my