tance
Mr. NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN is still a long way short of his hoped-for
half-a-million ready, like the British Army, to go anywhere and do
anything.

A telegram from the British Ambassador at Washington, stating that
President WILSON'S War-speech had been very well received, and that
Congress was expected to take his advice, gave great satisfaction. As the
MINISTER FOR AGRICULTURE observed, "The outlook for early potatoes may be
doubtful, but our SPRING-RICE promises excellently."

Mr. PROTHERO has made up his alleged differences with the SECRETARY OF
STATE FOR WAR, and signalized the treaty of peace first by snuggling up to
Mr. MACPHERSON on the Treasury Bench, and next by handsomely supporting the
new Military Service Bill. In return the UNDER-SECRETARY FOR WAR introduced
a much-needed amendment by which men wholly engaged on food-production may
be exempted by the Board of Agriculture from the process of "re-combing"
now to be applied to the rest of the population.

_Wednesday, April 4th._--Mr. SNOWDEN disapproves of the selection of the
two Labour Members who are to form part of a deputation about to proceed to
Petrograd to convey to the Russian Government the congratulations of the
British people. Possibly the neckties of the proposed envoys are not of a
sufficiently sanguinary shade, or their brows are not lofty enough to
proclaim them true "leaders of thought." The suggestion that the Member for
Blackburn should himself be despatched to Petrograd (without a return
ticket) has been regretfully abandoned.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Jock (in captured trench)_. "COOM AWA' UP HERE, DONAL';
IT'S DRIER."]

* * * * *

PREPARED FOR THE WORST.

Extract from a Canadian lease-form:--

"Will during the said term keep and at its expiration leave the
premises in good repair (reasonable wear and tear and accidents by fire
or tempest expected)."

* * * * *

"Gentleman single letterarian sportsman 5 linguages tennant pretty
little cottage charmingly situated between Montreux Vevey, complete
sanitary accommodations vicinity boat, seabaths, golf-grounds
excursions receives
PAYING GUEST
moderate terms, Prussians and Austro-Germans, alcoholists undesired."--
_Swiss Paper._

We do not quite know what a single letterarian is, but he seems to be a
person of discriminating taste.