ything--that we never do
decide anything--because it would be too much like a rounded climax. Well
(_rousing himself_), let's put out the gas. [_He moves heavily towards the
conspicuous bracket._

_David_ (_protesting)_. But, feyther, 'tisn't near time for bed yet.

_Bully_, (_grimly_). Maybe; but 'tis more than time play was finished. And
this is how.

[_He turns the tap. A few moments later the light is switched off with
a faintly audible click, and upon a stage in total darkness the curtain
falls._

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Officer_ (_anxious to pass his recruit who is not shooting
well_). "DO YOU SMOKE MUCH?"

_Recruit._ "ABOUT A PACKET OF WOODBINES A DAY, SIR."

_Officer._ "DO YOU INHALE?" _Recruit._ "NOT MORE THAN A PINT A DAY,
SIR."]

* * * * *

THE WOBBLER.

My friend, whom for the purpose of concealing his identity I will call
Wiggles, opened fire upon me on March 1st (coming in like a lion) with
this:

"DEAR WILLIAM,--I have not been well and my doctor thinks it might do me
good to come to Cornwall for a few weeks. May I invite myself to stay with
you?..."

I accepted his invitation, if I may put it so, and on March 6th received
the following:--

"DEAR WILLIAM,--I am not, as I think I said, at all well, and my doctor
considers I had better break the journey at Plymouth, as it is a long way
from Malvern to Cornwall. Would you recommend me some hotels to choose
from? I hope to start by the middle of the month ..."

I recommended hotels, and on the 12th heard from him again:--

"DEAR WILLIAM,--I am very obliged to you. In this severe weather my doctor
says that I cannot be too careful, and I doubt if I shall be able to start
for ten days or so. Has your house a south aspect, and is it far from the
sea? I require air but not wind. And could you tell me ..."

I told him all right, though as a guest I began to think him a little
_exigeant_. But he was unwell.

On the 17th he answered me:--

"DEAR WILLIAM,--I understand you live _quite_ in the country. Would you
tell me whether a doctor lives near to you and whether you have a chemist
within reasonable distance? My doctor, who really understands my case,
won't hear of my starting until the wind changes: but I hope ..."

I drew a map showing my house, the nearest chemist's shop, the doctor's
surgery and a few other points of interest, such as Land's End and the