thing to ask a fellow Of _course_ I'm not!

_Mrs. R._ (_softly_). Do you know, JACK, I'm sometimes sorry I married
_you_, though.

_Jack_ (_uneasily_). Come, I _say_, you know--what on earth for?

_Mrs. R._ Because I should like to marry you all over again!... Ah,
I _knew_ I should frighten you! (_The final "Amen" of the Choir dies
away, amid the coughing, rustling, and nasal trumpeting of last year's
Congregation._) There are some more cylinders, JACK--shall we put them
in next?

_Jack_ (_who feels sufficiently solemnised_). Well, if you ask me, I
think they'll keep till next year. Pity to disturb the effect of that
last, eh?

SECOND ANNIVERARY--1894.

_SAME SCENE AND TIME. MRS. RIVENLUTE DISCOVERED ALONE_.

_Mrs. R._ He might at _least_ have made _some_ allusion to the day--it
would have been only _decent_! He can't possibly have _forgotten_! I
don't know, though, very likely he has.... Well, _I'm_ not going to
remind him! I suppose he means to stay downstairs, smoking, as usual,
all the evening. Oh, if I could only make him ashamed of himself just
_once_!... _I_ know! Uncle JOHN'S phonograph! He can't help hearing
_that_. (_She winds it up, as JACK R. enters, yawning._) Dear me, this
_is_ an unexpected honour. (_Softening slightly._) Have you come up to
keep me company--for once?

_Jack._ Well, to tell you the truth, my dear, I fancy I left the
evening paper here. An, there it is.

[_He seizes it, and prepares to go._

_Mrs. R._ You can read it here, if you _like_, you know--I don't mind
your smoking.

_Jack._ Thanks--but it's cosier in the study.

_Mrs. R._ Of course I know that any place where I don't happen to be
is cosier in _your_ opinion.

_Jack._ Oh, hang it, don't begin all that again--there, _I_'ll stay!
(_He chooses a comfortable chair._) What the doose is that?

[_The phonograph has begun to buzz and hum._

_Mrs. R._ Hush!--it's Uncle JOHN'S present.

[_The "Wedding March" strikes up with a deafening blare._

_Jack_ (_startled_). Bless my soul! I thought something had blown up.
"_Hallelujah Chorus_," is it--or what?

_Mrs. R._ (_coldly_). As it happens, it is MENDELSSOHN'S "_Wedding
March._"

_Jack._ Sounded familiar somehow. 'Jove! MENDELSSOHN was determined to
let 'em know _he_ was married!

_Mrs. R._ That was intended to let people know _we_ were married. It
is our Wedding March.

_Jack._ Ours? You said it was _MENDELSSOHN'S_ just now! But what are
you turning it on _now_, f