fter next, unless _Mr. Punch's_ Own Second-sighted Seer
grossly deceives himself)--when they marry, VIOLA'S Uncle JOHN will
be the person to present them with the then orthodox phonograph and
appurtenances. But if he could foresee the future as distinctly as
_Mr. Punch's_ Seer has done in the following prophetic visions, he
might substitute a biscuit-box, or a fish-slice and fork, a Tantalus
spirit-case, or even a dumb-waiter, as likely, on the whole, to
inspire a more permanent gratitude.

FIRST ANNIVERSARY--SAY, IN 1893.

SCENE--_A CHARMING DRAWING-ROOM._ TIME--_ABOUT 9:30 P.M._

Mr. RIVENLUTE _is on a chair by the open window_; Mrs.
RIVENLUTE _on a low stool by his side_.

_Mrs. R._ (_for the fiftieth time_). I can't _ever_ thank you _nearly_
enough for this _lovely_ ring, JACK dear!

_Jack_ (_rather gruffly_). Oh, it's all right, Pussy. Glad you like
it, I'm sure. Do they mean to bring in the lamps? It's pitch dark.

_Mrs. R._ I'll ring presently--not just yet. It was so _dear_ of you
to remember what day it was!

_Jack_ (_who only just remembered it in time, as he was driving
home_). Been a brute if I hadn't!

_Mrs. R._ You _couldn't_ be a brute, JACK, if you tried--not to _me._
I'm so glad we haven't got to go out anywhere to-night, aren't _you_?

_Jack_ (_heartily_). Rather! Beastly bore turning out after dinner.
What on earth are you up to over there?

_Mrs. R._ (_who has risen, and has apparently been winding up some
instrument in the corner--as she returns_). Oh, it's only something I
wanted to do this evening.... Now, JACK, listen!

[_The phonograph begins to click and whirr._

_Jack_. That beastly cat in the room again! Turn it out quick--it's
going to be ill.

_Mrs. R._ (_laughing a little hysterically_). No--no, JACK, it isn't
poor Snowball this time! Wait, and you will hear something.

[_The "Voice that Breathed o'er Eden" is suddenly rendered by an organ
and full choir: the remarks of two choristers (who are having a
little difference over a hymn-book), and the subdued sniffs of MRS.
MANDOLINE, being distinctly audible between the verses._

_Mrs. R._ (_breaking down_). Oh, JACK, isn't it beautiful? Wasn't it
_sweet_ of Uncle JOHN to give it to us!

_Jack_ (_who, privately, would have infinitely preferred a small
cheque_). Yes--he's a good old buffer at bottom.

_Mrs. R._ He's a perfect old _love_! Tell me, JACK, you're not _sorry_
you married me, _are_ you?

_Jack._ What a