y are painted. "Four times you've been in
prison," he urged, "and see how well you look." DILLON takes objection
to the prison garb; discloses strong yearning to see Prince ARTHUR
arrayed in it. ARTHUR quite content with his present tailor.
SHAW-LEFEVRE joins in conversation; ARTHUR looks at him longingly.
"They say we shan't be in office another year, TOBY," he observed, as
SHAW-LEFEVRE proceeded at some length; "but I should like to be CHIEF
SECRETARY long enough to get a chance of running SHAW-LEFEVRE in. He's
very slippery; knows how near he may go without incurring actual risk;
but I'll have him some day." _Business done_.--Irish Votes happily
concluded.

* * * * *

A SPORTING STYLE.

(_WITH EXAMPLES._)

_Prefatory Note._--It is a common mistake to suppose that the present
generation frowns upon the literary achievements of the descriptive
reporter who chronicles the great deeds of athletes, oarsmen,
pugilists, and sportsmen generally. On the contrary, if we may pretend
to judge from a wide and long-continued study, we should say that
the _vates sacer_ of the present day, though he may not rival his
predecessors in refinement and classical allusion, is by no means
inferior to them in wealth of language and picturesque irrelevancy.
Sporting reporting, in fact, was never more of a fine art, and on the
whole has rarely been better paid, than it is at the present day. In
the hope that many a young journalist may be helped in his struggle
for fame and fortune, _Mr. Punch_ proposes to publish a short manual
of sporting reports, with examples and short notes, that may explain
the _technique_ of the business to the aspirant.

[Illustration]

RULES.

1. Always remember that you are a sporting reporter, and be as
sportive as you can. The dig-in-the-ribs and chuck-her-under-the-chin
style is always effective.

2. Speak of everybody by his Christian name or his nick-name.

3. If you think a man ought to have a nickname, invent one for him.

4. Employ stock quotations wherever they are least required, and give
a music-hall flavour to every report.

5. If possible, misquote.

6. Avoid all simple language.

7. Patronise all titled sportsmen, and pat wealthy bookmakers on the
back.

8. Never miss an opportunity of showing that you are on familiar terms
with the sun, moon, rain, wind, and weather in general. Do this, as
a rule, by means of classical tags vulgarised down to the leve