onveyed to
another fancied fleet that is covering a convoy of ships, imagined to
be attempting to land corn, that they have brought from ports across
the Atlantic, simultaneously at Pegwell Bay, Margate, and the Isle
of Dogs, it is again supposed that, acting under sealed orders,
they elude the enemy, and dividing their forces, make for Gravesend,
Liverpool, Dundee, "The Welsh Harp" at Hendon, and Yarmouth. The
problem, therefore, presented to Admiral FLYOFF, who is in command of
the defending squadrons, will be, after utilising the supposed coast
defences, and mining the Serpentine, to force the enemy to accept
the issue of an open action on the Regent's Canal, and the Ornamental
Water at the Crystal Palace. Failing this, it will be left to the
Umpires, who, being supposed to be in several places at the same time,
will be provided with a tricycle, fog-horn, and telescope, to enable
them to adjudge the exact amount of success or failure following
respectively on each effort, with as near a resemblance as is possible
to the probable issues in real warfare. Any matters remaining in
dispute and undecided, will be ultimately settled by the First Lord,
who will toss up with a two-headed halfpenny, specially provided for,
in the Estimates, for the purpose.

A glance at the above will show that the scheme, though simple in
conception, may easily become complicated; but if kept in view, with
an accompanying reference to the daily letters of the Correspondents
of five Penny Papers, by anyone, who will further pick out the names
and positions of places named, and mark them with pins on the Railway
Map attached to _Bradshaw's Guide_, it may serve to throw some light
on the course of events, and leave the inquiring investigator, though
still very much at sea, yet in possession of some scraps of useful
information.

* * * * *

NOTICE.--rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no
case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed
Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.

* * * * *

End of Project Gutenberg's Punch, Vol. 99., July 26, 1890., by Various

*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, VOL. 99., JULY 26, 1890. ***

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