live
in a house like this? We'll buy one in the Karetny, ma'am; and how we'll
decorate it! We'll have birds of paradise on the ceilings, sirens, various
Coopids[1]--people'll pay good money just to look at it.

[Footnote 1: These are not the only words that Podkhalyuzin mispronounces;
_Olimpiada_ is another.]

LIPOCHKA. They don't paint Coopids any more nowadays.

PODKHALYUZIN. Then we'll let 'em paint bokays. [_Silence_] If you'd only
agree on your side, then I don't want anything more in life. [_Silence_]
How unfortunate I am, anyhow, that I can't say nice compliments.

LIPOCHKA. Why don't you talk French, Lazar Elizarych?

PODKHALYUZIN. Because there was no reason why I should. [_Silence_] Make
me happy, Olimpiada Samsonovna; grant me that blessing, ma'am. [_Silence_]
Just tell me to kneel to you.

LIPOCHKA. Well, do it! [PODKHALYUZIN _kneels_] What a horrid waistcoat you
have on!

PODKHALYUZIN. I'll give this one to Tishka, ma'am, and I'll get myself one
on the Kuznetsky Bridge, only don't ruin me! [_Silence_] Well, Olimpiada
Samsonovna, ma'am?

LIPOCHKA. Let me think.

PODKHALYUZIN. Think about what, ma'am?

LIPOCHKA. How can I help thinking?

PODKHALYUZIN. Why, you don't need to think!

LIPOCHKA. I'll tell you what, Lazar Elizarych!

PODKHALYUZIN. What're your orders, ma'am?

LIPOCHKA. Carry me off on the quiet.

PODKHALYUZIN. But why on the quiet, ma'am, when your papa and mamma are so
willing?

LIPOCHKA. That's quite the thing to do. Well, if you don't want to carry me
off, why, let it go as it is.

PODKHALYUZIN. Olimpiada Samsonovna, just let me kiss your little hand! [_He
kisses it; then he jumps up and runs to the door_] Daddy, sir!

LIPOCHKA. Lazar Elizarych! Lazar Elizarych! Come here!

PODKHALYUZIN. What do you want, ma'am?

LIPOCHKA. Oh, if you knew, Lazar Elizarych, what my life here is like!
Mamma says one thing one day, and another the next; papa, when he isn't
drunk, has nothing to say; but when he's drunk he's apt to beat you at any
moment. How's a cultivated young lady going to endure such a life? Now, if
I could marry a nobleman, I'd go out of this house, and could forget about
all that. But now everything will go on as before.

PODKHALYUZIN. No, ma'am, Olimpiada Samsonovna; it won't be that way!
Olimpiada Samsonovna, as soon as we've celebrated the wedding, we'll move
into our own house, ma'am. And then we won't let 'em boss us. No, here's an
end to all that, ma'am! That