f anybody were actually coming, then you'd be
talking sense; but you keep saying he's coming, he's coming, but God knows
who it is that's coming. It's always like that.

LIPOCHKA. Well, in that case I'll stay, mamma. [_She goes to the mirror and
looks at herself. Then to her father_] Daddy!

BOLSHOV. What do you want?

LIPOCHKA. I'm ashamed to tell you, daddy!

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Ashamed of what, you little fool? Speak out if you
need anything.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Shame isn't smoke--it won't eat out your eyes.

LIPOCHKA. No, by heavens, I'm ashamed!

BOLSHOV. Well, hide your face if you're ashamed!

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Do you want a new hat; is that it?

LIPOCHKA. There! you didn't guess it. No, not a hat.

BOLSHOV. Then what do you want?

LIPOCHKA. To marry a soldier!

BOLSHOV. Just listen to that!

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Wake up, you shameless girl! Lord help you!

LIPOCHKA. Why--you see, others marry soldiers.

BOLSHOV. Well, let 'em marry 'em; you just sit by the sea and wait for a
fair breeze.

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. And don't you dare give me any of your lip! I won't
give you my mother's blessing.

SCENE IV

_The same and_ LAZAR, RISPOLOZHENSKY, _and_ FOMINISHNA _in the doorway_.

RISPOLOZHENSKY. How do you do, my dear Samson Silych! How do you do, my
dear Agrafena Kondratyevna! Olimpiada Samsonovna, how do you do!

BOLSHOV. How are you, old man, how are you! Do us the favor to sit down.
You sit down, too, Lazar!

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. Won't you have a snack? I have a relish all ready
for you.

RISPOLOZHENSKY. Why shouldn't I, dear lady? I'd just like a thimbleful of
something now.

BOLSHOV. Let's all go in together pretty soon; but now, meanwhile, we can
have a little talk.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA. Why not have a little talk? D'you know, my jewels, I
heard--it must have been printed in the newspaper, whether it's true or
not--that a second Bonaparte has been born, and it may be, my jewels----

BOLSHOV. Bonaparte's all right, but we'll trust most of all in the mercy of
God; it's not a question of that now.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA. What is it a question of, my pearl?

BOLSHOV. Why, about the fact that our years are approaching their decline;
our health also is failing every minute, and the Creator alone can foresee
what is ahead. So we have proposed, while we're still living, to give in
marriage our only daughter; and in regard to her settlement we may hope
also that she'll not b