t stands for; kinemas, perhaps, and bowls. An
allotment ..."

"But," I objected, "this History won't occupy him for ever. There
should be only about sixteen more parts. He'll have you out again next
autumn."

"But WELLS is getting the Suburban idea too." He was standing right
over me, glaring horribly with excitement. The train had entered a
tunnel and he was shouting bravely against the din. "Look in Part
I. He acknowledges the help he has received from Mrs. WELLS. And her
watchful criticism. That from _him_! I tell you I am free--free!"

He was shaking me by the shoulders now, his face close to mine. "I
shall have my allotment. Prize parsnips--giant marrows!"

"Don't be too sure," I yelled--the tunnel seemed endless. "Remember
poor old _Sherlock_. DOYLE raised _him_ from the dead. And you"--my
voice rising to a scream--"he'll have you out--out--OUT!"

* * * * *

As I came to I heard my dentist remark to the doctor that I always had
been a bad patient under gas.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH ON SILK STOCKINGS.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,--Your article about Christmas presents was a great
success. I took your advice about the silk stockings, and sent the
following verses with them, which some of your married readers may
care to cut out and keep for future use:--

Your stockings once, on Christmas Eve,
Would hang, your cot adorning,
And Father Christmas, we believe,
Would fill them ere the morning;
But since he spied your dainty toes
To exchange the parts he's willing:
He thinks it's his to send the hose
And yours to find the filling.
He lays his offerings at your feet
And hopes you won't deride them,
For he has nothing half so neat
As you to put inside them.

There! I can only repeat that the results were excellent, and express
my gratitude to you for the same.

Yours obediently,
GRATEFUL HUSBAND.

P.S.--The ties I got this time were quite all right; she too must have
read your article.

* * * * *

NATURE AND ART.

_To Betty, who can afford to defy the laws of symmetry._

[Being reflections on the old theory, recently developed
before the Hellenic Society by Mr. JAY HAMBRIDGE, that certain
formulae of proportions found in nature--notably in the normal
ratio between a man's height and the span of his outstretched
arms (2: [**square root] 5)--constituted the bas