d," states an evening paper. Should this indiscreet statement
reach the ears of certain Government Officials it is feared that one
or two of our picturesque anti-aircraft stations may be dismantled.

* * *

According to an American paper, a lawyer has left New York for Mexico,
in order to try to explain to the inhabitants the meaning of Peace
and the benefits to be derived from joining the League of Nations. We
understand he has made full arrangements for leaving a widow and two
young children.

* * *

Our heart goes out to the tenant of an experimental paper-house who
discovered, on going up-stairs, that his two-year-old son in a fit of
ungovernable passion had torn up his nursery.

* * *

A man has written to _The Daily Mail_ advocating the alteration of
the calendar to thirteen months of twenty-eight days each, _with two
Christmas Days in Leap Year_. The writer--to do him justice--did not
sign himself "Paterfamilias."

* * *

The New Poor Dance Club, which has opened in the West End, is having
its vicissitudes. Last week, it is reported, a distinguished stranger
mistook a waiter for one of the members, and the waiters have
threatened to strike if it occurs again.

* * *

Los Angeles, California, says a New York cable, is suffering from an
unprecedented crime wave. A proposal by President CARRANZA to draw a
_cordon sanitaire_ round the place has not yet reached Washington.

* * *

"Are dark people cleverer than fair?" asks a contemporary. These
clumsy attempts to destroy the Coalition spirit are too transparent to
be successful.

* * *

Intending visitors to the Zoological Gardens in Ph[oe]nix Park,
Dublin, are now required to get a permit from the military
authorities. A daring attempt by a Sinn Feiner to approach the
Viceregal Lodge under cover of a cassowary is said to be responsible
for the order.

* * *

The ex-Kaiser, it is stated, has asked the Prussian Government
if there would be any objection to his settling in Peru as a
cattle-raiser. The probability that the Crown Prince will settle in
France for a spell as a watch-lifter is thought to have fired the
ex-Imperial imagination.

* * *

A report from Chicago states that, as a result of the prevailing
taste for wood-alcohol, a number of citizens successfully revived the
ancient custom of seeing the Aurora Borealis in.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "HURRY UP, JOHNSON--WHAT A TIME YOU TAKE!"

"I CAN'T G