,
in recognition of the promptitude and ability with which
he rescued the domestic servant, Strawberry Bank, Hardgate,
pleaded guilty to having bemusic, stolen a gold safety pin,
a fountain pen, two pairs of gloves, two blouses and several
other articles of clothing."--_Fishing News._

We never believe these fishing stories.

* * * * *

SONGS OF THE HOME.

II.--THE DIAGNOSIS.

When Jimmy, our small but significant son,
Is prey of a temper capricious and hot,
And tires of a project as soon as begun,
And wants what he hasn't, and hates what he's got,
A dutiful father, I ponder and brood,
Essaying by reason and logic to find
The radical cause of the juvenile mood
In the intricate growth of the juvenile mind.

But women and reason were never allies;
The rule of a mother is logic of thumb;
The trouble concerns, she is quick to surmise,
His rum-ti-tiddily-um-ti-tum.

O woman (though angel in moments of pain,
When angels of pity are most _a propos_),
Why, why won't you listen when husbands explain
The things they have thought and the knowledge they know?
And why do you smile when they beg to repeat?
And why are you bored when they make it all clear?
And why do you label their emphasis "heat,"
And bid them "Be careful; the servants may hear"?

The argument leaves me, though ever more sure,
Reproachful and angry and sullen and dumb:
It leaves her reforming my diet, to cure
_My_ rum-ti-tiddily-um-ti-tum.

HENRY.

* * * * *

ANIMAL HELPS.

(_By a Student of Domestic Economy._)

Living in a remote country district, where the difficulty of obtaining
servants is at present insurmountable--the nearest "pictures" are
twelve miles off--I have been much impressed and encouraged by
two letters in recent issues of _The Spectator_. One describes a
Bloomsbury grocer's cat that bought her own cat's-meat; another
recounts the exploits of a spaniel belonging to a house painter and
glazier at Yarmouth (Isle of Wight), which, if given a penny, would
immediately amble off to a grocer's shop and purchase a cake.

Viewed in their true perspective, these exhibitions of animal
intelligence seem to indicate fruitful possibilities of the employment
of our dumb friends to assist us in these trying times. Many years
ago I remember reading of a baboon which discharged the