w much pleasure in
announcing that it is not necessary to wear kilts whilst taking the
oath in the Scottish fashion.

* * * * *

[Illustration: TIME: _Monday Morning._

_Golfer._ "NO, I NEVAH GO TO THE CLUB ON SATURDAYS OR SUNDAYS. I FIND
A MUCH BETTER LOT THERE ON MONDAYS."

_The Other_ (_bound Citywards_). "REALLY. WELL, YOU MIGHT KEEP A
SPECIAL LOOK-OUT FOR A COUPLE OF NEW 'PURPLE DIMPLES' I LOST AT THE
FOURTEENTH YESTERDAY."]

* * * * *

"SEND TWOPENCE FOR THE LATEST PAMPHLET ON THE EAST:

CARRYING FREEDOM TO TURKEY.

DELIVERY MAY BE SLIGHTLY DELAYED."

_Muslim Outlook._

We can well believe this.

* * * * *

There was a young man of the Peak
Who had kippers for tea once a week;
As he hated the taste
It was rather a waste,
But it gave him a feeling of _chic_.

* * * * *

"It was learned yesterday, on enquiry at the offices of the
City of Dublin Steampacket Company, that there is no truth
in the statement that the officers and crews of the company's
boats had been served with six months' notice in into a new
contract for the carrying of the Government."--_Irish Paper._

We doubted it from the start.

* * * * *

THE ART OF POETRY.

III.

In this lecture I shall deal with the production of Lyrics, Blank
Verse and (if I am allowed) Hymns (Ancient and Modern).

First we will write a humorous lyric for the Stage, bearing in mind,
of course, the peculiar foibles, idiosyncrasies and whims of Mr. Alf
Bubble, who will sing it (we hope). Mr. Bubble's principal source of
fun is the personal appearance of his fellow-citizens. Whenever a
new character comes on the stage he makes some remark about the
character's "face." Whenever he does this the entire audience rolls
about on its seat, and cackles and gurgles and wipes its eyes,
and repeats in a hoarse whisper, with variations of its own, the
uproarious phrasing of Mr. Bubble's remark. If Mr. Bubble says, "But
look at his _face_!" the audience, fearful lest its neighbours may
have missed the cream of the thing, splutters hysterically in the
intervals of eye-wiping and coughing and choking and sneezing, "He
said, '_What_ a face!'" or "He said, '_Did_ you _see_ his face?'" or
"He said, 'Is it a _face_?'"

All this we have got to remember when we are writing