and away.

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: MANNERS AND MODES.

THE DUCHESS OF MAYFAIR (AT HEAD OF TABLE) CONVERTS HER TOWN RESIDENCE
INTO A BOARDING-HOUSE FOR THE NEW RICH.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Itinerant Photographer_ (_to couple who are in the
middle of a quarrel_). "'ERE Y' ARE, SIR! THE LATEST IN 'IGH-CLASS
SNAPSHOTS. BOTH YER 'EADS ON ONE CARD ENCLOSED IN A 'EART. VERY
PRETTY. 'ALF-A-CROWN ONLY."]

* * * * *

GETTING FIXED.

"Now mind, my boy, what you've got to do is to tell all your friends
you are out looking for a job, and they'll give you introductions.
Nothing like 'em; a friend at court, you know, and all that." This was
from one of the friends to whom I had applied for a post. The advice
was all he had to offer me.

I acted on it, and found my friends only too ready to give the
required introductions. With alacrity they minuted me on from one to
another till I felt as if "passed to you, please" had been scrawled
all over me. But I persevered, and eventually weeded out from my list
of introductions half-a-dozen that were addressed to solid men, high
up in the City, who might be counted on not to miss the chance of a
good thing. That is how in the early days of the Peace I was disposed
to regard a demobilized young officer who had worn red tabs.

The first name on my selected list was John Pountney, of the firm of
Laurence, Pountney & Co. My wife's uncle had been at school with John
Pountney's brother, who unfortunately had no connection with the firm.
But no matter; I filled up a form in the outer office--"Nature of
Business, personal"--and sent it in with my note of introduction
attached. John Pountney saw me. He did all the talking in quite an
affable manner, told me of his son's experiences in the War, deplored
the high price of petrol and his wife's difficulties in obtaining
servants, and then: "Well, let's get to business. So you would like
good employment in the City? What can you do?"

I began: "Well, Sir, when I was on the Staff----" He interrupted:
"Now, don't go on to say that you can organise;" and he shook a
finger at me playfully and was off once more with an anecdote about an
officer in his son's regiment.

Eventually I found myself being bowed out in a rather dazed condition.
Only one thing emerged at all clearly out of the whole interview; and
I took from my pocket a s