a lyric for Mr.
Bubble. Why Mr. Bubble of all people should find so much mirth in
other men's faces I can't say, but there it is. If we write a song
embodying this great joke we may be certain that it will please Mr.
Bubble; so we will do it.

Somebody, I think, will have made some slighting remark about the
Government, and that will give the cue for the first verse, which will
be political.

We will begin:--

Thompson ....

I don't know why the people in humorous lyrics are always called
Thompson (or Brown), but they are.

Thompson, being indigent,
Thought that it was time he went
Into England's Parliament,
To earn his daily bread ....

That is a joke against Parliament, you see--Payment of Members and all
that; it is good. At the same time it is usual to reserve one's jokes
for the chorus. The composer, you see, reserves his tune for the
chorus, and, if the author puts too much into the verse, there will be
trouble between their Unions.

Now we introduce the _face-motif_:--

Thompson's features were not neat;
When he canvassed dahn our street
Things were said I won't repeat,
And my old moth-ah said:--

This verse, you notice, is both in metre and rhyme; I don't know how
that has happened; it ought not to be.

Now we have the chorus:--

"Oh, Mr. Thompson,
It isn't any good;
I shouldn't like to vote for you,
So I won't pretend I should;
I know that you're the noblest
Of all the human race ...."

That shows the audience that _face_ is coming very soon, and they all
get ready to burst themselves.

"I haven't a doubt, if you get in,
The Golden Age will soon begin--
But I DON'T LIKE--your FACE."

At this point several of the audience will simply slide off their
seats on to the floor and wallow about there, snorting.

The next verse had better be a love-verse.

Thompson wooed a lovely maid
Every evening in the shade,
Meaning, I am much afraid,
To hide his ugly head ....

_Head_ is not very good, I admit, but we must have _said_ in the last
line, and as we were mad enough to have rhymes in the first verse we
have got to go on with it.

But when he proposed one night--
Did it by electric light--
Mabel, who retained her sight,
Just looked at him and said:--

Now you see the idea?

"Oh, Mr. Thompson,
It isn't any good;
I shouldn't like to marry you,
So I won't pretend I should;
I know that you ha