ed to juggle with figures up to five thousand
pounds. This should be just the thing for persons ordering dinner at a
London restaurant.

* * *

"In 1924," says a contemporary, "Mars will be only thirty-five million
miles from the earth." It has not yet been decided what can be done
about it, but we understand that Lord NORTHCLIFFE has the matter in
hand.

* * *

Scotland Yard is warning people against a man who perpetrates fraud by
means of the telephone. It is to be hoped he will soon be captured so
that the secret of how he gets through can be wrested from him.

* * *

"An expedition in search for gold," says a contemporary, "will leave
Glasgow next week." In view of their object no surprise is felt that
they have decided to leave Scotland.

* * *

Mr. ROBERT HYDE, a chemist of Pittsburg, claims to have obtained sugar
from sawdust. This is not so very remarkable. Several people in this
country have succeeded in obtaining sugar from a grocer.

* * *

"On July 1st," says an official notice, "all banks in the United
Kingdom will be closed." To avoid disappointment, holders-up are
requested to enter the date in their engagement books.

* * *

Whilst assisting with the repairs to his church a clergyman in the
Midlands has had the misfortune to injure his thumb with a hammer. It
still remains a mystery what the clergy say on such occasions.

* * *

Although this year the majority of lady-shoppers are practising in
private for the summer sales there are still a few who have again
adopted the Underground Railway as their training quarters.

* * *

The principle of the League of Nations has now been accepted by all
the Great Powers with the exception of America and Mr. BOTTOMLEY.

* * *

A bargee summoned in Warwickshire for saying what he thought of the
Government was acquitted, but was told that if he repeated the offence
the fine would be five pounds. We understand that he is saving up for
it.

* * *

"We must thank Germany for the present high cost of living," says an
evening paper. Personally, at the risk of appearing ungrateful, we
shall do nothing of the sort.

* * *

During a recent debate on crime a well-known doctor stated that,
although his house was often left empty, no attempt had ever been
made upon it. We hear, however, that he has since been visited by the
secretary of the Burglars' Union and has agreed to await his turn.

* * *

In reply to several correspondents we have no