handed to a messenger, remarking in a hurried and
off-hand manner, "Say that, if he's engaged, I'd rather come another
day, as I don't want to miss the 12.5 to Hatfield."

I had no desire to catch it either; but Hatfield is where the great
man lives. This was my ingenious method of getting through the outer
defences, and it worked. The youth behind the counter supposed I must
be a personal friend (did I mention that I have an "air" and a power
of controlling?... Ah, yes, item No. 3), and sped the messenger on
his way. Not only so, but my message must have deceived the great one
himself, for I was admitted to the Presence immediately.

He stood before me, holding my slip in his hand, with a puzzled frown
on his face. The frown deepened as he failed to recognise me.

"You need have no fear," I said; "I have no letter of introduction."
And I smiled pleasantly at him.

His look of apprehension vanished, and I continued, unfolding my
blue-pencilled list of accomplishments:--"Listen: I am no organiser;
my knowledge of French may be dismissed as negligible (this from
the man with whom Jeanne Vincent had deigned to converse in her
own tongue!); I profess no power of controlling my fellow-men; my
mathematical ability isn't worth a rap, and, as to statistics, I
neither tabulate nor co-ordinate them with any degree of readiness."
Thereupon I bowed, with hands extended, as who should say, "You behold
me; that's the sort of man I am."

He smiled faintly. "Excuse me, but what _can_ you do?"

"That," said I, "is for you to discover. If, when I shall have worked
in your office for say three months"--he started--"you are unable to
find any use for me, then you are not the kind of man I take you for."
And I drew myself up, striking what I hoped was a dignified attitude.

He stared at me for some seconds.

"You have references?" he asked.

"Of course," I answered, "but I know enough not to produce them till
they are called for."

Then he pressed a bell. "I am going," he said, "to introduce you to my
manager. You have certain qualifications which I think may be useful
to us."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Member._ "WHAT'S THE BEEF LIKE TO-DAY? IS IT EATABLE?"

_Club Waitress._ "SOME SAYS IT IS AND SOME SAYS IT ISN'T; BUT YOU
NEVER CAN GO BY WHAT PEOPLE SAY."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Bored Little Girl._ "AREN'T YOU NEARLY CLEAN NOW,
MUMMY?"]

*