I can't believe that even a
_crwth_ meant to make such a horrible noise as Wee-Wee makes on it!).
Myself, I don't consider Bo-Bo a bit the better for the Long-Ago
treatment, and there's certainly a wild look in his eyes that wasn't
there before!

_M'amie_, would you like to hear the simply _odious_ storyette of
Somebody's Cousin? Well, so you shall. Somebody is by way of being an
intimate foe of mine, and Somebody's Cousin has long been a thorn in
the flesh and a shaking of the head to his people. Before the War
he belonged to the League for Taking Everything Lying Down, the
Fellowship for Preventing People from Standing up against Foreign
Aggression, and the Brotherhood for Giving up All Our Advantages to
Aliens. He was of military age, and when war came, after giving vent
to some completely detestable sentiments, he crossed to the U.S. and
naturalised himself there, constantly attacking the country that was
unlucky enough to produce him.

[Illustration: _Recruit_. "EXCUSE ME, SIR, I FEEL GREATLY EXHAUSTED BY
THIS EXERCISE."

_Instructor_. "DO YOU, DEARIE? WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY AT?
KISS-IN-THE-RING?"]

When the U.S. came in, he shed his citizenship in a hurry, fled to
South America, and naturalised himself in a republic that had sworn
by all its gods to keep out of the War _a tout prix_. This republic,
however, changed its mind later and followed its big northern brother
into the War, _et voila_! Somebody's Cousin was at a loose end again.
He afterwards naturalised himself in half-a-dozen small far-away
nations that all finally came in, and _then, cherie_, he drifted down
to the islands of the South Pacific (the favourite ocean of _his_
sort!) and had himself made an Ollyoola. (The Ollyoolas are a tribe
that has _never in all its past history_ been known to go to war). He
was made an Ollyoola with all the native rites, dancing and shrieking
and so on, and he wore the correct Ollyoola dress (a few shells and
his hair trained on sticks to stand straight up).

And _now_ comes the point of this storyette: Only a few weeks after
Somebody's Cousin had become a full-blooded Ollyoola (I think
that's the proper phrase), the Ollyoolas suddenly fell out with the
Patti-Tattis (on the next island) and went to war, for _absolutely the
first time_, with a _ferocity_, my Daphne, that seems to have been
saving up through all their centuries of peacefulness!

Nothing's been heard since of Somebody's Cousin!

Ever thine