received the involuntary support of Mr. MACVEAGH, who
attempted to back up his colleague by the singular argument that the
existing trains in Ireland ran half-empty.

The Lords spent the best part of a sunny afternoon in discussing
whether or not the South-Eastern Eailway should be allowed to bolster
up the Charing Cross railway bridge. In vain Lord CURZON, flying in
the face of his Ministerial colleague, the PRESIDENT OF THE BOARD OF
TRADE, urged the claims of Art; in vain he assured the House that when
WORDSWORTH wrote of the view from Westminster, "Earth has not anything
to show more fair," he was not thinking of that maroon-coloured
monstrosity. The majority of their lordships, understanding that the
proposal had something to do with "strengthening the piers," declined
to reject it.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Officer_. "AND WHAT DID YOU SAY TO PRIVATE SMITH?"
_Witness_ (_who had discovered prisoner milking cow belonging to
French farmer_). "I TOLD HIM TO STOP IMMEDIATELY AND PUT THE MILK
BACK."]

* * * * *

We have received a copy of _The Glasgow Weekly Herald_, dated "May 56,
1917." Trust a Scot to make a good thing go as far as possible.

* * * * *

"Great jubilation prevailed amongst the people at finding the
children alive, and congratulations were extended to their parents
that their little ones were not lost in the cavities and chasms of
Knocknatubber Mountain, though straying thereon for upwards of 25
years."--_Nenagh Guardian_.

The young "Rips"!

* * * * *

[Illustration: _National Service Volunteer_ (_late crack billiard
player_). "MARKER, HAND ME THE REST."]

* * * * *

="IN PRIZE."=

A ship was built in Glasgow, and oh, she looked a daisy
(Just the way that some ships do!)
An' the only thing against 'er was she allus steered so crazy
(An' it's true, my Johnny Bowline, true!)

They sent 'er out in ballast to Oregon for lumber,
An' before she dropped 'er pilot she all but lost 'er number.

They sold 'er into Norway because she steered so funny,
An' she nearly went to glory before they drawed the money.

They sold 'er out o' Norway--they sold 'er into Chile,
An' Chile got a bargain because she steered so silly.

They chartered 'er to Germans with a bunch o' greasers forrard;
Old s