E A FIELD-MARSHAL IN MY ARMY! YOU SHALL
PRESENTLY HAVE A COMMAND ON THE WESTERN FRONT."

TINO _(without enthusiasm)_. "THANK YOU VERY MUCH."]

* * * * *

=ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.=

_Monday, June 11th_.--I am told that it was WILLIE REDMOND'S ambition
to be the Father of the House; indeed, that by some arithmetical
process peculiar to himself be claimed, although only elected in 1883,
to be already entitled to that venerable honour.

In reality he was the Eternal Boy, from the far-off time when it was
his nightly delight with youthful exuberance to cheek Mr. Speaker
BRAND until the moment of his glorious death in Flanders, whither he
had gone at an age when most of his compeers were content to play the
critic in a snug corner of the smoking-room.

Personal affection combined with admiration for his gallantry to
inspire the speeches in which the PRIME MINISTER, Mr. ASQUITH and Sir
EDWARD CARSON enshrined the most remarkable tribute ever paid to a
private Member.

Sir GEORGE GREENWOOD'S affection for the animal creation is commonly
supposed to be such that he would not countenance the slaughter of the
meanest thing that crawls--not even those miserable creatures who hold
that SHAKSPEARE'S plays were written by SHAKSPEARE. It was therefore
with pained regret that I heard him attempting to support his
objection to the activities of sparrow-clubs by the argument that,
if the birds were destroyed, large numbers of grubs and caterpillars
would be left alive. After this I shall not be surprised to hear that
he has been summoned by the R.S.P.C.A. for brutality to a slug.

What I most admire in the CHIEF SECRETARY FOR IRELAND is his wonderful
self-restraint. When Mr. GINNELL stridently inquired whether to
institute legal process against the police in Ireland was not like
bringing an action against Satan in hell, the ordinary man would
have been tempted to reply: "The hon. Member probably has sources of
information not accessible to me." Mr. DUKE contented himself
with mildly suggesting that the hon. Member should "apply his own
intelligence to that matter." Perhaps, however, he meant much the same
thing.

[Illustration: _IN RE_ AN ACTION AGAINST SATAN.

(MR. H.E. DUKE, K.C.)]

Half the sitting was taken up with discussing whether Messrs. JOWETT
and RAMSAY MACDONALD should be given passports to Russia. Mr. BONAR
LAW clinched the matter by saying that the Russian Government wanted
them.