Ballykilbeg,
who had overheard GILL incidentally allude to Prince ARTHUR as prone
to untruth, wanted the SPEAKER to take notice of irregularity. But
SPEAKER judiciously deaf. As for JOHN O'CONNOR, glad of a little rest.

"All I wanted, TOBY," he explained, "was to hurl the word 'Crime' in
BALFOUR'S teeth."

"Exactly," I said; "nothing more natural or desirable. But you should
tone down the tendency towards the steam-engine-piston action, for
which, I do not deny, you possess some natural advantages."

_Business done._--In Committee on Compensation Bill.

_Tuesday._--"What's this I hear about Heligoland?" says NICHOLAS WOOD.
Hardly knew him; so changed. A dull, heavy look faded over his usually
mobile countenance; his svelte figure puffed out, and bent. "Only
fortnight ago, SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE proposed to give up
Heligoland; barter it for a case of German Sausages, says he.
FERGUSSON very properly angry; me and other good Tories protested
against this new Separatist policy. Couldn't find Heligoland on the
map."

"Ha!" I say, "but Germany has found it, and taken it, and the MARKISS
is willin'."

"Very odd," says NICHOLAS; "can't make it out; like a thing out of a
play; never go to a play, you know, but understand this sort of thing
is somehow done: first you see it, then you don't; Heligoland British
territory; to be sacrificed only with last drop of blood; Radical
Separatists rapped on knuckles for suggesting handing over; then we
wake up, and find it's been handed over, and by the MARKISS! Tell you
what it is, TOBY, think I shall cut this business; not brought up to
politics; find them a little weakening."

[Illustration: The Ladies' Man.]

OLD MORALITY announced programme for remainder of Session. In bulk
something exceeding ordinary programme when brought in in February.
Now it is the so-called June; every prospect of sitting till October;
House groans and growls; terrible charges flying round; WINTERBOTHAM
darkly accuses Cabinet Minister of keeping a public-house. HICKS-BEACH
admits soft impeachment, but pleads it's "only a little one, brings
me in only L20 a-year rent." "Miserable!" says NEWNES, who owns _Tit
Bits_.

General feeling of sympathy with BEACH. WINTERBOTHAM apologises; if
he'd known it was only L20 wouldn't have said anything. OLD MORALITY,
in his kind way, presses BEACH'S hand; has troubles of his own to
bear; but a man who owns a public-house and draws only L20 a-year from
it, takes