,
And a bargain that's bad is a bargain to mend.
That German is not yet gone out of the shop,
Recall him a moment--to look at that cheque!
It may not be one that a banker would stop,
But is it "Good Value"? This rede you may reck,
Mr. Shopman, _sans_ shame. 'Tis pure fiddle-dedee
To give _too_ much away with your Pound of Tea!

* * * * *

HARROW OR HANVER?

FROM an all-too-brief correspondence in the _P. M. G._, we learn that
Mr. JOHN ADDINGTON SYMONDS is very angry with Mr. FRANK HARRIS for a
statement appearing in a _Fortnightly Review_ article of his, that he
"went to Hanver at the age of thirteen." Mr. SYMONDS explains that it
was to Harrow that he went at that period of his life, and that he
has never been to Hanver at all--which, no doubt, is a matter of great
importance to mankind in general. He complains, moreover, that his
essay is "villanously ill-edited." Surely this is what _Polonius_
would call "an ill-phrase," and suggests a doubt whether Mr. SYMONDS
cultivated much at Harrow those "ingenuous arts," the study of which
"softens the manners and does not permit them to be brutal." Perhaps
it is not even now too late for him to pick them up. He might try
Hanver.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "GIVEN AWAY WITH A POUND OF TEA!!!"]

* * * * *

THE LADIES' YEAR.

[_Miss Margaret Alford (of Girton) Niece of scholarly Dean Alford, is
announced in one of the four "Senior Classes" at Cambridge._]

"A DREAM of Fair Women"--who shine in the Schools,
The Muse should essay ere her ardour quite cools.
Come, bards, take your lyres and most carefully tune 'em,
For Girton in glory now pairs off with Newnham.
Miss FAWCETT the latter with victory wreathed,
And now, ere the males from their marvel are breathed,
Miss MARGARET ALFORD, the niece of the Dean,
As a Classical First for the former is seen.
Let Girton toast Newnham, and Newnham pledge Girton,
And--let male competitors put a brisk "spurt" on,
Lest when modern Minerva adds learning to grace,
Young Apollo should find himself out of the race!

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

[Illustration: The Mephistophelian Whistlerian Butterfly "On the
Pounce" at Antwerp.]

"_The Gentle Art of making Enemies, as pleasantly exemplified in
many instances," &c., &c._ (for full title see the book itself) is