t and use my eyes and ears
like blazes. Talking of grammar, I thought when I first started that
I should get in a regular hat over the grammar, and the spellin', and
that--_you_ write, don't you, when you're not travellin'? So you know
what a grind it is to spell right. But I soon found they kept a Johnny
at the office with nothing to do but put all your mistakes right for
you, so, soon as I knew that, I went ahead gaily.

_The L. L._ Exactly, and now, perhaps, you will let me know what
particular information you require?

_Mr. J._ Oh, _you_ know the sort of thing the public likes--they'll
want to know what sort of diggings you've got, how you dress when
you're at home, and all that, how you write your books, now--you
do write books, don't you? Thought so. Well, that's what the public
likes. You see, your name's a good deal up just now--no humbug, it
_is_ though! Between ourselves, you know, I think the whole business
is the balliest kind of rot, but they've got to have it, so there you
are, don't you see. I don't pretend to be a well-read sort of fellow,
never was particularly fond of readin' and that; no time for it, and
besides, I've always said _Books_ don't teach you knowledge of the
world. I know the world fairly well--but I didn't learn it from
books--ah, you agree with me there--_you_ know what skittles all that
talk is about education and that. Well, as I was sayin', I don't read
much, I see the _Field_ every week, and a clinkin' good paper it is,
tells you everythin' worth knowin', and I read the _Pink Un_, too. Do
you know any of the fellows on it? Man I know is a great friend of one
of them, he's going to introduce me some day, I like knowin' literary
chaps, don't you? You've been about a good deal, haven't you? I expect
you must have seen a lot, travellin' as you do. I've done a little
travellin' myself, been to Monte Carlo, you know, and the Channel
Islands--_you_ ever been to the Channel Islands? Oh, you ought to go,
it's a very cheery place. Talkin' of Monte Carlo, I had a rattlin'
good time at the tables there; took out a hundred quid, determined
I would have a downright good flutter, and Jove! I made that hundred
last me over five days, and came away in nothing but my lawn-tennis
flannels. That's what I _call_ a flutter, don't you know! Er--beastly
weather we're havin'! You have pretty good weather where you've been?
A young brother of mine has been out for a year in Texas--he said
_he_'d very good w