ch is the next best thing to Olympus.

* * *

The British steamer _Remuera_ reported on reaching Plymouth last week
that a German cruiser had attempted to trap her by means of a false
S.O.S. signal. We ought not, we suppose, to be surprised at a low trick
like this from the s.o.s.sidges.

* * *

There is one quality that no one can with justice deny to the Germans,
and that is thoroughness. The other day, having laid a mine, they seem
to have used one of their own cruisers to test its destructive power.

* * *

"It is noticeable," says _The Daily Mail_, "that the Kaiser's speeches
no longer include references to God, only Frederick the Great." This
confirms the rumours of a quarrel.

* * * * *

Illustration: THE AIRSHIP MENACE.

* * * * *

FAMOUS TOWN CAPTURED BY GERMANS.

"In the south of Ypres we have lost some points, D'Appui, Hollebeke,
and Landvoorde."

_Worcester Daily Times._

If your map doesn't give D'Appui, buy a more expensive one.

* * * * *

"Capstan Hands.--First-class Men, used to chucking work, for motor
vehicle parts."

_Advt. in "The Manchester Guardian."_

They ought to be easy enough to get.

* * * * *

"Guardsmen again provided a dramatic element in the trial by
guarding the prisoner and the door which fixed bayonets."

_Evening News._

You should see our arm-chair give the salute.

* * * * *

TO THE SHIRKER: A LAST APPEAL.

Now of your free choice, while the chance is yours
To share their glory who have gladly died
Shielding the honour of our island shores
And that fair heritage of starry pride,--
Now, ere another evening's shadow falls,
Come, for the trumpet calls.

What if to-morrow through the land there runs
This message for an everlasting stain?--
"England expected each of all her sons
To do his duty--but she looked in vain;
Now she demands, by order sharp and swift,
What should have been a gift."

For so it must be, if her manhood fail
To stand by England in her deadly need;
If still her wounds are but an idle tale
The word must issue which shall make you heed;
And they who left her passionate pleas unheard
Will _have_ to hear that word.

And, losing your free choice, yo