witch in her;
It may be he will learn more tact and grace
When that mild tenor has been turned by KITCHENER
Into a throaty bass."

Thus jestingly I dreamed. And now, Caruso,
You have not budged one inch upon the road;
While half the lads have got their khaki trousseau,
You still retain that voice and nut-like mode;
Peace holds you with the tightness of a grapnel,
And, still adhering to her ample hem,
You enfilade us with your tuney shrapnel
From 9 to 12 P.M.

So here's my ultimatum. Though it loosens
The kindly bonds that neighbours ought to keep,
I'll take a summons out to curb the nuisance
Unless you stop it. Can I laugh or weep
For those who fling their challenge at the blighting gale,
Who smile to hear the cannon's murderous croon,
When you go on like a confounded nightingale
Under a fat-faced moon?

The streets are darkened now that once were ringing
Through all the lamp-lit hours with festal fuss,
And songs are changed, and so's the time for singing,
But I'd be greatly pleased to hear you, Gus,
Out in the road there, watched by Anns and Maries,
Op'ning your throttle to the mid-day light;
Fate gave it you to prove that Tipperary's
A long way off. _Left--Right!_

EVOE.

* * * * *

We commend _The Pioneer_ to the notice of our evening contemporaries.
Its "Extraordinary War Special"--price, one anna--consists of the
following:--

"No Reuter received since 8.30 a.m."

A more enterprising paper, such as _The_ ---- or _The_ ----[_censored_]
would have provided some new headlines from yesterday's news.

* * * * *

TOMMY BROWN, PATRIOT.

II.

Tommy Brown has already been in disgrace, although it is only a
fortnight since he wrote the famous patriotic essay which determined Mr.
Smith, his Form-master, to go to the Front. You see, Miss Price, who is
deputising for Mr. Smith, does not like lizards, and has an especial
aversion to white rats, whereas Tommy is very fond of these and other
dumb animals.

So Tommy was reported to the Headmaster. At first the Headmaster thought
that the application of "somewhat severe measures, my boy," would meet
the case; but whoever heard of caning a curly-headed boy with blue eyes
and an ink-stain on both lips? The interview took place in the
Headmaster's study. To the question, "What do you mean,