bought it, but you'll no doubt see its name on
the bill when it comes in."

"Thanks very much," I said. "That's what I should call forcible
fleecing. Not that I mind in a good cause----"

"Isn't it ingenious?" interrupted Joan. "You just put the tobacco in
between the rollers, and twiddle this button round until--until you've
twiddled it round enough; then you slip in a cigarette-paper--like
that--moisten the edge of it--twiddle the button round once more--open
the lid--and shake out the finished article--_comme ca!_"

An imperfect cylindrical object fell on to the floor. I stooped to pick
it up and the inside fell out. I collected the _debris_ in the palm of
my hand.

"How many of these have you made?" I asked.

"Only three thoroughly reliable ones, including _that_ one," she
replied. "I've rolled ever so many more, but the tobacco _will_ fall
out."

"Here, let me give you a hand," I suggested. "I'll roll and you lick."

"No," said Joan kindly but firmly. "You don't quite grasp the situation.
I want to do something. I can't make shirts or knit comforters. I've
tried and failed. My shirts look like pillow-cases, and anything more
comfortless than my comforters I couldn't imagine. I wouldn't ask a
beggar to wear an article I had made, much less an Absent-Minded
Beggar."

"What about that tie you knitted for me last Christmas?" I said.

"Yes," said Joan; "what about it? That's what I want to know. You
haven't worn it once."

It was true, I hadn't. The tie in question was an attempt to hybridise
the respective colour-schemes of a tartan plaid and a Neapolitan ice.

"That," I explained, "is because I've never had a suit which would set
it off as it deserves to be set off. However, if I can't help I won't
hinder you. I only came in to say that I had done the second hole in
two. I thought you would like to know I had beaten bogey." And I
retired, taking with me the little heap of tobacco and the hollow tube
of paper.

When I reached the seclusion of the mulberry-tree I found that the paper
had become ungummed, so I placed the tobacco in it and succeeded after a
while in rolling it up. The result, though somewhat attenuated, was
recognisably a cigarette. I lit it, and when I had finished coughing I
came to the conclusion that if only I could induce Joan to present her
gift to the German troops instead of to our Tommies it would precipitate
our ultimate triumph. I had to eat several mulberries before I felt
cap