ERE MUST BE LESS NOISE!" said he.

Yours ever,

Henry.

* * * * *

"The Press also avoids very carefully all discussion of the status
of the Goeben and the Breslau. Practically the only reference to the
subject is a remark in the _Frankfurter Zeitung_ that Turkey has
alone to decide what ships are to fly under her flag."--_Times._

If Turkey decides that the _Goeben_ is to fly, we hope she will warn the
man who works the searchlights at Charing Cross.

* * * * *

Illustration: A GLORIOUS EXAMPLE.

ABLE-BODIED CIVILIAN (_to Territorial_). "THAT OUGHT TO GIVE YOU A GOOD
LEAD, MATE."

TERRITORIAL. "YES--AND I MEAN TO TAKE IT! WHAT ABOUT _YOU_?"

* * * * *

Illustration: A PRUSSIAN COURT-PAINTER EARNING AN IRON CROSS BY
PAINTING PICTURES IN PRAISE OF THE FATHERLAND FOR NEUTRAL CONSUMPTION.

* * * * *

"CHARLIE" BERESFORD.

By TOBY, M.P.

"LORD CHARLES has broken his chest-bone--a piece of which was cut out in
his boyhood leaving a cavity--his pelvis, right leg, right hand, foot,
five ribs, one collar-bone three times, the other once, his nose three
times." Thus Mr. COPE CORNFORD in one of the notes with which he
illuminates the _Memoirs of Admiral Lord Charles Beresford_, published
by Messrs. METHUEN in two volumes, illustrated with a score of plates,
the portrait of Lady CHARLES adding the charm of rare beauty to the
collection.

For many years I have been honoured by the friendship of Lord CHARLES,
and have had frequent opportunity of witnessing his multiform supremacy.
Till I read this amazing catalogue of calamities, I never dreamt that
among other claims to distinction he might have been billed as The
Fractured Man, principal attraction in a travelling show, eclipsing the
One-Legged Camel, the Tinted Zebra, and the Weird-Eyed Wanton from the
Crusty North, who can sing in five languages "It's a Long, Long Way to
Tipperary." Ignoring the monotony of experience suffered by the ribs,
and noting the obtrusiveness of one collar-bone, we may, with slight
variation from a formula in use by the SPEAKER in the House of Commons,
declare "The Nose has it." Happily no one regarding Lord CHARLES'S
cheery countenance would guess that its most prominent feature had been
"broken three times."

Here is a man whose life should be written. Fortunately the task has
been undertake